Mehmal (Editing)

Chapter 44

He tried to reach out to her, trying to grab her hand. She flinched away gulping " Don't touch me?" she said quietly.

Zaryab didn't know what to say. He was here to apologise. He knows she is in pain. To get rid of it, the only way is to sort out it initially. The problem zaryab didn't get a chance to sort out when he wanted. But he is here and does everything in him to sort things out no matter how hard it seems.

"Mehmal, what I did was wrong. I should be punished for that. But you know I wanted that baby how much you wanted. I decided not to marry her but you were not in condition. I..." he became silent. Remembering his child just being in pain. His eyes moistened by bringing his dead child. They didn't even grieve together for the loss of a child.

Mehmal tear fell. He saw it when a drop of tear fell on her hand. It was pain. Pain is there. It changes Mehmal and zaryab. It screws his entire life.

Zaryab sighed and turned his face towards the hills. The weather was cold. December is always cold and beautiful in Islamabad. There was silence only a bird's voice echoed telling the departure to their homes. Zaryab never thought he would be thoughtful of such existence of nature. When he becomes so observant. It becomes difficult for him to bring up the topic of his child.

"You know out of all those times what I'm regretting the most" zaryab said looking at mehmal she was silently looking at hills he then flickered away his gaze from her to the park.

"When I stopped her from resigning. I should let her go. She was just a teenage crush which happened in teens. You know what my second biggest regret is why I was still stubborn in marrying her. When I don't love her. My third biggest regret was why I raised my hand. You did what every wife does. It was your house, it was your seat. I shouldn't have invited them, I should have dropped the idea of marrying her. She wasn't more important than my child and you." He said Mehmal sighed.

Mehmal was silent; he was expecting an outburst yelling and accusing him of leaving. But none. Mehmal sat there restraining herself. The evening began to get darker and darker. The street lights were turned on and the park lights were also turned on. Mehmal was looking at the Margalla hills where lights were shining which made these hills even more beautiful. She can see Monal lights from where she was sitting.

"We were trying to have a baby although it's been only a year since our marriage. But we wanted so desperately. When the doctor told me you are pregnant as I promised you I'll buy a farmhouse where we will take our kids. I brought it because you were not in condition so I thought you will get better if I take you there. I didn't go shopping with her. I was coming from the farmhouse a little far from Murree. I just picked her up and dropped her, but still no justification. I was happy I'll surprise you for a month you were not talking to me. Mom and dad told me to stay away from you. When I came in the room and parted the curtain to make your mood chill." he whined. He was explaining everything. A low sigh parted his lips. He was tired of everything. He was in burden. His chest was tightened with the burden. He wanted to let out everything inside.

"I did so wrong I shouldn't be stubborn in marrying her. When you said you regret why you chose me over Suleman I got jealous and then you said I wasn't even your status you should listen to your father. My anger got accelerated and at that moment I decided to invite them for dinner which was my biggest mistake and regret. You have every right to be jealous and to be mad. I didn't know she would sit there. I thought she would sit with her father when you came. I stood from. my place. I.." he did and turned his body rubbing his hand over his face. Mehmal broke her gaze from the hills, turning her face to him. She had tears. She then turned back to the hills hiding the vulnerability in her eyes.

"NO I know I made a mistake the very next day I broke everything but why I didn't realize she was my test from Allah? I didn't fail you only mehmal I failed my Allah. After that, I asked  Sana to send me your video. In the office, people start calling Anaya by different names. I ruined her image as well so again I decided to marry her but I thought with time everything will settle and our baby will arrive. Our relationship gets better. I will excuse her and in the meantime, I'll quit the job. Her image will not be tarnished but I didn't know my actions and decisions were ruining my house. I decorated the room because you were not in a condition to do it. so I did it all alone so that we will not regret it. I was the father I have to do it. I tried many times to meet you Mehmal but every time no one let me. I'm so sorry I wanted to come to you "