Every Kind of Way

I Need You

I walked out of the room and sprinted towards my car. I avoided anyone who asked me any questions. Many tried to stop me to check up on me, but I wouldn't let them. I got into Ms. Duanpen, slammed the door shut and locked it. I could feel my heart rate at a thousand beats per minute even though I didn't run that fast. My breathing was shallow and a million thoughts ran through my head. Was I too harsh? Was I unfair? Why didn't she run after me? Is she going to leave me again? I was trembling and starting to sweat. Damn it! Not now!

My only clear thought was that I needed Mon so I dialed her number as best as I could. She answered after the second ring.

Sam: "M-Mon?"

Mon: "Sam?! What's wrong? Where are you?" I could hear the worried tone in her voice.

Sam: "I-I'm... I can't...Mon...help me, please." I could barely get any words out. I felt the tears building up, I was about to explode.

Mon: "OMG, Sam I think you're having a panic attack."

Sam: "I-I don't get panic attacks. I..."

Mon: "Panic, anxiety attack, whatever. Ok Sam I need you to breath with me ok?" I felt like I was suffocating with every passing moment. I couldn't hold it anymore, I started crying.

Sam: "I-I can't Mon. I can't breathe."

Mon: "Sam, baby, focus on my voice." I closed my eyes and tried my best to slow down my breathing. "Listen to my voice Sam. I'm right here. Everything will be just fine." The tight grip I had on my phone loosened up. I breathed out a little more calmly. "That's it. Follow the sound of my voice. Nothing and no one is going to hurt you. I'm right here, baby." My breathing was a bit more normal and I didn't feel like my heart was going to run out of my chest anymore. "You're safe with me." I felt that deep inside my heart.

Sam: "Mon?"

Mon: "Yes, Sam?"

Sam: "Thank you."

Mon: "I'm just glad I could help you. Are you feeling better?"

Sam: "A little bit. I still feel anxious, but I think I can drive home now."

Mon: "Are you sure? If you need to take a taxi, just do that."

Sam: "No, no, I'm okay. I'll call you when I get home." She breathed out.

Mon: "Ok, I'll be waiting." I ended the call and relaxed into the seat. I breathed in deeply and exhaled before starting the car.

I got home, texted Mon that I arrived safely and dove into the jacuzzi. I asked Yha not to bother me today and I told the housekeeper to go home. I must have fallen asleep because when I checked the time it was almost 4pm and my fingers looked all pruned up from being under water so long. I went inside the house and took a nice warm bath, I lit my candles, put on some spa music and placed bath salts into the tub.

Relaxing wasn't really something I did so after sloshing around in the water I took a shower and got dressed. I ate some leftovers that I had from the night before and sat on the kitchen counter. I don't want to be alone tonight. I couldn't ask Mon to come over because she had basically stayed with me for the past week. I sighed in defeat. An idea emerged in my head. If Mon can't come home, I'll go to her parents' house.

I started heading towards Mon's house. I was about to call her to let her know I was on the way, but knowing Mon she would scold me and tell me to stay home. If I just arrive, she won't have a chance to turn me away. The drive there didn't feel that long this time, traffic was light plus I was distracted with thoughts of P'Fa and her family. I tried my best not to let the thoughts upset me again. I don't know if what I said to her today was right, but at least I got the chance to tell someone how I really feel.

When I got to Mon's house, the lights downstairs were turned off. Mon's light was still on and visible from the road through her pink curtains. That woman really loves pink. I don't know why I got the stupid idea, but my idiot brain decided to reenact THE Romeo and Juliet scene. I found a ladder that could help me climb up to Mon's room. I placed it neatly leaning on the side of the house without making too much noise. I found a couple of pebbles on the floor and threw them at Mon's window.

Sam: "Psst... Mon!" I whispered loudly. I threw a couple more pebbles, but there was no response. I was running out so I found a bigger rock. Hopefully I don't break her window and wake up the whole house. I threw the rock without looking and it almost hit Mon. "Crap! I'm sorry." Mon dodged it just in time.

Mon: "Sam? What are you doing here? Why are you throwing rocks at me?" I smiled at her confused look and scrunched up nose. I started climbing the ladder. "Wait! What are you doing?!" I was at the top of the ladder before she could say anything else and her face was right in front of mine.

Sam: "I needed to see you." She smiled and I could see the faint blush on her cheeks. "Can I come in? It's freezing out here." Mon nodded and helped me into her room as quietly as she could.

Mon: "You're crazy you know that." I leaned against her dresser and played with one of her many stuffed animals.

Sam: "Yeah, I might be. What can I say? I'm in love with you." I looked deeply into her eyes and set the stuffed animal down.

Mon: "W-what did you say?" I placed myself in front of her and grabbed her hands.

Sam: "I said... I'm in love with you, Kornkamon." She smiled from ear to ear.

Mon: "I'm in love with you too Sam." She kissed me softly. I wrapped my arms around her waist and lifted her off the ground. While we kissed I gently guided her to the bed. I removed some of the things that were on the bed and laid her down gently.

I traced soft kisses on her neck as I started unbuttoning her shirt. Mon pushed me away gently. I grabbed her hands and placed them above her head kissing her once more.

Mon: "Sam..."

Sam: "I need you Mon." I stared into her eyes. "I need all of you."