Chapter Fifty-Three

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When I left my apartment I really didn't think of where I would go but anywhere was better than there

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When I left my apartment I really didn't think of where I would go but anywhere was better than there. I stomped down the stairs with tears running down my cheeks. I know me getting this angry over something like this may be childish but I don't care. He couldn't even tell me that I mean anything to him. Why do I care so much for that man when he doesn't give a shit about me?

I turned onto the dark street in front of my apartment building and just started walking. My head was empty and that all too familiar numbness had already washed over my body. I wish I could say that the tears streaming down my face were because of an emotion but it wasn't anymore.

I felt entirely empty and for the first time since I moved I felt alone. It had been so long since I felt nothing. It made me feel as if I was just a corpse walking around. I wiped my face and took in a deep breath. It's fine. Why do I even care? It's not like this is surprising.

I don't know how long I walked without nothing on my mind but when I finally chose to pay attention to my surroundings I had no idea where I was. I looked around the dark street at the unfamiliar buildings and I raised an eyebrow.

"Well this isn't good."

I sighed and pulled out my phone and scrolled through the contacts. I couldn't tell you how ho I was looking for, but I just felt the need to do this. As I passed my fathers name I stopped. Without another thought I deleted his number. I continued scrolling and soon I passed Ba Wei's name. Should I call him? It's not like he's not up. He's usually up this late.

As I stood there trying to decide if I wanted to call him my phone began to ring. I looked down at the screen and to my surprise it was Ba Wei. What good timing. I picked up the phone and when I heard his voice my heart began to beat fast.

"Hello," he said.

"Hello."

When that word left my mouth my voice was shaking. I knew that he heard the tone in voice, and I could only wish that he didn't say anything.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing," I looked around the unfamiliar street again, "Just taking a midnight stroll."

"Really? Why? I thought you had to do something today."

When I heard that sentence my eyes began to sting. I cursed under my breath and took in a deep breath. Why am I about to cry? Why am I reacting like this? Why am I so weak.

"Yeah, that didn't go that well," I said with a sniffle.

The line went silent for a minute and I mentally cursed myself for making that sound. I sighed and was about to say something but Ba Wei spoke first.

"What's wrong?"

His tone had changed. It was softer than it was before and for some reason this made the tears that I was holding back fall. I wiped my face and took a deep breath.

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