RWBY's Monstrous Education

Kulu Ya-Ku

A/N: Once again, thanks to Insane Boy for the transcript and qazse for reaction help.

"Natures bounty has never been on display so richly as in the new world." Rage spoke softly with a British accent as several ecosystems in the New World were shown, before a number of hunters were walking through an open doorway where the outside past it couldn't be seen thanks to a blindingly bright light. "This magnificent menagerie of creatures is just waiting to be discovered. Today we look at Jyuratodus... is this... is this a joke?" Rage asked, almost sounding offended as a massive mudfish burst from a shallow pond, preparing to drop on top of a white-haired Huntress.

"What's with that accent? He sounds like he's trying to imitate Velvet." Coco asked.

"This is one of Rage's earliest attempts at a lore, so he tried to imitate the famous and highly-acclaimed narrator of countless nature documentaries, David Attenborough. He's also one of the few people that believes there's still hope for our planet and we can save the dying environment and endangered animals if we change our ways." Katana explained.

"He sounds like quite the honorable man." Ozpin said appreciatively.

"Do you think your planet can change, Katana?" Penny asked.

The ice demon laughed at this. "Oh, no way, we are fucked." She said.

Blake, meanwhile, looked hungrily at Jyuratodus. She had briefly seen it in Barroth's video, but she hadn't gotten that good of a look at it. Now that she did, she had only one thing on her mind. "Giant fish..." She said longingly, drooling.

Ilia rolled her eyes at this. "Blake, you realize it was in a nasty, muddy swamp, right? So it probably spent most of its time there? That means all that mud and nasty water has sank into the skin. That's not gonna have great flavor." She reminded her friend.

Blake instantly deflated at this. "I hate you, Ilia." She whined as she was comforted by Emerald and the chameleon Faunus.

"Sir we need you to continue." Some unknown person from a booth requested, pressing a button to talk to Rage.

"This shitty mudfish... I... I'm sorry I can't do this I came here to talk about proper monsters." Rage refused to speak of the fish as the sound of some one getting up is heard.

"Please, sir! If you could sit back down-" The director pleaded.

"Um... I'm leaving." Rage declared as the sound of someone leaving a recording booth was heard.

"Sir... no he's actually just fucking left... well shit." The director cursed, before a test pattern appeared.

Ironwood rolled his eyes at this. "Unbelievable. Just because he doesn't like the monster, he actually refused to speak about it? How childish." He scoffed.

"You will sit back down and talk about that monster, cretin! We need that information if these creatures will appear on Remnant!" Winter snapped.

"Don't worry, you'll see it in a future video." Razara assured them.

"Still, to outright refuse to do his job in such a way is negligent and disgraceful. I would fire him on the spot!" Glynda declared.

A researcher girl was then seen knelt in front of a large, broken egg shell with a substantial amount of egg yolk on the ground. "Ah, much better. Today, we look through the eyes of Kulu Ya-Ku, a curious, frail chicken that inhabits the Wild Spire Wastes predominantly and spends it's time pissing off herbivores. We can tell one is near by due to the gooey remnants of this egg enjoyed by the carrier ants. We ourselves must take a sample for it is imperative to we have breakfast." Rage explained as the researcher took a sample of the egg while very large ants walked nearby.