Earth Warriors (Undergoing Revision)

Chapter 88 - Until It's Gone

30 minutes later. 

Back in the room, already redecorated with the furniture, posters, and even weapons reserved for the Crusaders,  it looks as good as new, especially when it concerns those who were initially called back for the duties of those who didn't need it, now remain where they can be. It's almost spotless in every corner, whether it's junk food or stray clothes littering the floor. It's almost like the hall room is where they reserved where the mess should be, and a thankful one at that too. 

And yet, there's still a sense of unease present in it as usual. 

Kamis bounces a tennis ball near a wall next to the windows as he glances around at his own reflection on the glossy surface, each hit following the same impact and velocity from each throw he delivers to it.  And it's not just the impact, but also the sound it echoes around the room, which depending on the user's strength, can be loud enough to be heard outside the room. With a strength like this, it's almost like there's one sort of energy Kamis is focusing on, something that only a few may understand what it is. 

Why does it have to be me...? I reap every reward I can get by killing the Zlocs,  piloting a badass plane, and getting celebrated with the others and I still don't get my respect...?! I'll show them alright, I'll show them who has a head that's genuinely full of what matters...! Such thoughts run through his veins with a fiery passion, almost like an endless flow of lava that keeps its path no matter how many obstacles it encounters. Except in this one, it's more of a flow of grief than total destruction, all stemming from the loss of a home. 

Having a group of teammates flying alongside him was supposed to be the best remedy for this emptiness inside of him, something that could fill him up in moments when he's lost on his own, with no home to call to, no loved one to be with or talk with, not even a mere familiar with him is ever present for him after the loss he has. Even as the ball slips from his hand and falls down, he doesn't lose his focus as he picks it up once more, being just as determined to get it for himself. 

But it seems no matter how he feels and how he does in his surroundings, there's always a bout of self-doubt following him through while keeping a smile. Even during the moment that feels like a big reward, Kamis always feels that there's something more than just that, something that can keep him living for as he can. Even when it seems that they know him well, it still returns to that stage of his. As much as he flows his thoughts like lava, it still feels like a caged being, yearning for something more. 

To erase the hole inside of him. 

Just as more of these thoughts run through his mind, two knocks are heard outside the door, loud enough to make Kamis drop the ball again while letting out a sigh with his stooped posture, the movement around his arm and hips almost lacking in energy as he slightly glances at the door behind him. 

"Kam? You OK there?" Rosa says, the team leader who looks for the squadmates as usual. And yet Kamis doesn't reply, at least not yet. How else will he explain such a state of mind to someone like her? Would she, in his mind, understand what he goes through? Only time will tell at that hour. "Kam, I know you're there, but you don't have to hide it like this, so please let me in." Silence still follows, the doubt still lingering inside of him. It goes on like that until he sighs once more. 

"Sure, whatever." With that, the door opens, revealing Rosa as she enters the room, her eyes are narrow yet her gaze is still highly focused on Kamis, in a way that she can follow her duty as the leader of the team, even outside the dreary battlefields in the air. Even when she clears her throat and folds her arms behind her back, the purpose of what she intends to try with Kamis is not lost on both of them. 

"So yeah, Luana may have stepped a bit too much with her joke. But still, how does it feel to get yourself locked like that?" Rosa asks as she still focused on Kamis, which makes him glance away from her while keeping his stooped posture and in sight of the radiant sun in front of him. Something like that can't be easily answered in a time like this.