~:*:~ Fifty-Two ~:*:~

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Ian

Miriam asked me out on a date that night. After she publically admitted to wanting to get back together, I felt like I owed it to her to at least say yes to having dinner together. Even though my feelings for her were no longer as strong as they were, I felt like I had to give her a chance given our history. I wasn't with Lexi anymore, so there was no one holding me back...

Or so I told myself.

Miriam offered to meet me at my room, but I strongly protested that idea. I didn't want another awkward run-in with Chace or Leona. I thought it was because I wanted to keep Miriam to myself, but I later realized this possessive feeling had more to do with Chace... but I didn't fully understand what it meant.

We met at the restaurant she chose and instantly fell into an awkward dance of conflicting old habits and first-date protocols. She leaned in to kiss me as way of greeting, but I turned my face and went in for a friendly hug. I moved to help her with her coat, but she just pulled out her chair and sat, and then proceeded to shake it off so it would fall in a wrinkled pile between her and the back of the chair. I ordered for her like I used to, assuming she'd want the portabella mushroom burger with gravy fries, but she cancelled that for a light garden salad like every other girl who chose to starve themselves on a first date. And then when she ordered two glasses of my favourite wine, I responded by turning down my glass for water because I unexpectedly didn't want anything to remotely feel romantic about this date.

And if all that wasn't painfully uncomfortable enough, our conversations were grossly unbearable! Despite being separated since graduation, we still had nothing new to talk about. We politely asked about each other's families, but our answers were short and uneventful. I asked her about the universities she was applying to, but she said nothing she didn't already tell me back when she first applied. We tried resorting to bringing up past anecdotes or jokes, but they all fizzled out or seemed boring now.

It didn't help that I was completely out of practice with real dating. My last relationship basically revolved around sex and the idea that I could hold on to what Chace wanted to take from me. Lexi and I were practically nothing compared to what Miriam and I used to be in high school.

But I had to admit that Miriam and I seemed to have nothing now.

When the cheque finally came and we both wordlessly tossed down our share- not even pretending like we were going to fight over who paid for this date so the other could pay for the next one- I finally admitted to myself that this relationship was never going to improve. We had our fun back in high school, and now it was time to just be good friends.

"Listen, Miriam... I've been thinking. Maybe you and I should-"

She cuts in frantically, "I'm sorry, Ian! I didn't mean to lead you on! I know we said we'd start as friends and see how things progressed, but I totally jumped the gun and demanded a date! I wasn't trying to hurry things along, I swear! I'm afraid I gave you the wrong impression when I kissed you, like I still loved you in that way. I'm so sorry, but I don't feel the same way about you that you do about me. I don't want to get back together anymore..."

She must have thought I was about to ask her out on another date. I couldn't help but chuckle a bit, wondering how such a disastrous date would give her that impression. I leaned forward in my chair, ready to clarify that I felt exactly the same way she did; that I didn't want to be her boyfriend.

But she went on before I could jump in. "I only did all that because I was embarrassed and irritated by what that girl said! I kissed you just to prove her wrong... it had nothing to do with any feelings I may have for you. I just wanted them both to see that-"

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