Random oneshots :)

*22-professor snape x reader 3*

*longgg, relationship between a teacher and a student, emotional, soft sex with severus*

**

it really was a journey, a process. every minute he spent with you, he saw more and more of you, revealing more of the truth that was lurking under your tired eyes. the trauma you beared was much worde then hed imagine. it hurt him to think that those things happened to you for so long, and noone knew.

he found out why you tended to fall asleep in class. night terrors. hard ones. the very first night you slept in his quarters, you woke up at some point of the night, panting and shaking. he found out you had them almost every time you fell asleep, and prefered to stay awake most nights, which meant you fell asleep in classes sometimes.

it took a while until you slept in the same bed with him, and he was more then glad to let you sleep in his bed, himself sleeping on an armchair. he didnt mind it when you woke you, screaming and panting, and always was ready to help.

the night you confirmed that its ok he'll sleep in the bed with you, you curled into a tight ball and kept away from him. took another 2 weeks until you finally slept close to him, actually touched him. it was the first night-so you said-you didnt wake up, and actually slept dreamlessly. you were so insecure it was scary.

he went with you to court the day of your fathers trial. it was the first time severus saw your father, and he could see quite clearly why you were so scared of him. scared is an understatment. the second you and severus stepped into the courtroom, and your father saw you, he started shouting and throwing hands at you, and to his surprise, you fell unconciouss.

severus listened to the trial, and was shocked from what he heard. the things that were said at the courtroom were much worse then hed ever imagine, and the fact that he did that to you, made him feel much worse. 40 minutes later you entered the courtroom to give your statement and hear the punishment, and then left.

he also found out about your coping mechanism. or correctly, mechanisms. you not speaking with anyone and swallowing your feelings revealed to be a problem. who knew? quickly he found out about your drinking habit, which wasnt very surprising. you told him how much it helped, even when the alcohol was disgusting.

drinking, smoking, those things were your salvation. slowly dying, slowly burning yourself from the inside made you feel better. you prefered to be your own murdurer then to give your father the satisfaction. toxins made you forget, for exactly 10 seconds. it was worth it, so you said.

it was the little things he noticed. you couldnt look him in the eye, or anyone for this point, but you couldnt. you wouldnt touch anything unless you got permission to, and not like you asked to touch things, hed just see how much you stared at it and ask if you want to get a closer look. you always kept your hands to yourself, not even letting yourself rest them on the table. when he found out that it was because that if your hands were on the table without permission, hed stab them, he was on the verge of crying, but he knew that if he will cry, something bad will happen.

the first few times hed hug you, or kiss you, you were so unsure. hed always ask for your permission of course. it took about a whole month until you asked for a hug yourself, and he remembers quite vividly the very first time you ask for a kiss yourself.

"why are you staring at me?" he asked while grading papers, you sat beside him on the sofa, reading a book. you stayed silent for a few more seconds, and then took a deep breath. "canikissyou?" he raised an eyebrow at you, "im sorry?" he asks again, watching as you sigh deeply once again. "can i... kiss you?" you whipser. he stops himself from smiling as much as he could before turning his face to you and kissing you softly, turning back to his work.