40-severus snape x reader

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*request by mrssophiesnape hope you like it :)*

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its been maybe three weeks after the war. the air was much thinner already.

hogwarts was under constraction right now, and all the students got to go back to their families until hogwarts is restored.

slowly, hogsmeade started to go back to its former glory. the shops started to open and people were walking around, buying, eating, laughing.

severus snape, who lives in a back ally in hogsmead, heard as people started to go in the shops, chatting, and the laughter of children.

even though severus got his glory, he wouldnt go out much. it doesnt matter the fact that right as the war ended, harry potter fell to his knees infront of the dark professor, apologizing and crying, clutching onto his pants. he heard as harry cried and explained to everyone around whats happening, and then severus fell unconciouss, tired and bruised.

he still felt bad going outside. it doesnt matter that everyone knows what really happened, because he still knows where he was. what he did. who was around the same table as he. who carved a constant and eternal mark on his arm so he'll always remember what he did.

yes, he did do it to eventually win for the right side, but he still did it. the manipulating, the cheating, the lying, the murdering. it hurt him. and no matter how much he wanted to forget, he has his reminder on his arm, every morning he wakes up and every shower he takes.

on the other hand, there was one thing that made him forget, only for seconds even.

even before the war, {Y/N} {L/N} refused to believe that severus was ever a bad man. she worked in the ministry, and every time his name would come up, shed leave the room or defend him.

when the was started and severus was openly a death eater, youd still be on his side, but wouldnt talk about it. you just couldnt believe it was really him. you didnt talk to him at all during that time, and some may just say that you were a little embarresed that you defended a death eater, that you were just pushing the facts away.

but right after the war, as you sat silently beside a few students and helped patch them up, you heard from your left harry potter apologize and all of his explaining about severus. you were so happy, you were ready to yell. as he finished, you jumped forward to severus to hug him, but he fell unconciouss. it didnt stop you.

you held severus on the ground and hugged him, crying with a smile as you patted his hair with joy.

and having you in his life, made it easier for severus. day after day youd come to his flat, and on the 4th day you finally broke down and told him your house was burned down, the reason for you always hanging around his flat. he immediatly took you in, giving you his guest bedroom.

before you left for work, youd make the both of you breakfast, and he would make dinner for the both of you. when you were in the flat, youd hang really close to him, and soon his armchair became much smaller, since he sat in it, and you always pushed yourself to sit with him, pressed tightly against him. he doesnt mind.

while you werent home, hed try and occupy himself. reading, cleaning, sitting in his armchair and staring off into the dark void of time and space, or cooking. but no matter what he did, it usualy ended up with him sitting in his chair, his right hand gripping onto his other arm, fingers digging into his dark mark. it haunted him.

today, he was so focused on hating his mark, he didnt even notice how you came earlier, entered the house and saw as he sat there, gripping on his arm with his head cast down, his hair blocking your vision.

"severus?" his head snapped up when he heard his name being called, and when he saw your gentle face, your brows furrowed with concered, he sighed deeply.

he lets go of his arm and leans back in his chair, it crickls and crinkles as he leans back more and more. "im too old for surprises {Y/N}" he mummbles.

"what are you doing?" she immediatly questions him, dropping her bag down on the ground and taking another step forward to him until you are almost standing between his legs. it was a thing with you, you didnt know about personal space, and as you stood between his legs so close to him, you didnt feel the embarresment and the closeness between you two.

"its... its nothing" he sighs, lifting his arms and gripping the sleeve of his shirt, ready to pull it down, but you take his hand in yours.

he watchs as you raise his arm up, he needs to straighten in the chair. you inspect his arm, his dark mark, it looks red with scratchs over it. its badly bruised.

"why are you harming yourself?" you ask, letting his arm drop, but your fingers still hold his. you were younger then him, and almost seemed innocent with your big glossy eyes.

"this is not-" "but it is. this is self harm" you stand your ground, frowning. he sighs and closes his eyes, not knowing what to say.

he feels as you shuffle from between his legs and move to his left, push him a little, he obliges and moves aside a bit, and then feels as you wiggle yourself into the very limited space in the chair.

he feels as you drape your legs over his thigh, and wrap both your arms around his arm, youe head leaning on the part that connects his shoulder to his chest, and your eyes up on his tired face.

"its too hot {Y/N}" he tries. "its not" you defend, he feels as your fingers start to brush on his arm, and it stings when your small gentle fingers brush on his bruises.

"whats happening?" you ask softly. he doesnt know what to say, so he stays silent. "you know its not ok. would you like to talk about it?" you ask again. hes still silent, and now he threats himself not to cry.

you sit on silence for about a minute, two, three. you cant sit silently, he can practically feel how much you want to talk.

"you know it doesnt define you" now severus just wonders if you took all of the silence in order to think about what to say.

"it doesnt matter at all" you whisper again, he can feel your eyes on him. "its a dark mark {Y/N}, its there to always be there and remind me of..." he trails off, his eyes are still closed.

"remind you of what a brave and kind man you are who took a risk to protect a bigger cause?" you ask, he can feel your smirk. you always did it, took the bad and turned it into good. it gave him hope.

"{Y/N}, this is not a scar i got from falling off a bike. this is a mark that glorifies killing people. like you" you were muggleborn. he didnt know it until he saw you on the dark lords papers.

it made you flinch.

"but looks at me, pressed here to you, hugging you" you smile gently, snuggling further into him.

"its a reminded of what you grew to be. what you were expected to be, but what you chose to be" you whisper, he feels your hand land on his chest and softly run down his shoulder and to his upper belly.

he sighs deeply and raises the arm you held and put it around you, hugging you further into his side.

"will you stay with me {Y/N}?" he asks lowly, his deep barittone voice rammbling through the room.

"of course i will severus" you whisper back, small and adorable. "i love you severus" you whisper, snuggling even closer to him. "and i, you" he sighs deeply, a gentle smile strechs over his face.

he has you to mark that theres good in the world.









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yours, the red demon♧

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