Less talking | Maneskin |

Freedom.

The halway has never been so silent before. The sound of my heels hitting against tiles felt deafening. I pressed the button to call an elevator, but it was already on my floor, not giving me a chance to stay here any longer. Before the doors shut I caught a last glimpse of what used to be my office. Sad and empty now. I pressed "1" and put my back against the wall. I don't know why I damatize this so much, but leaving my now "former place of work" with a cardboard box, filled with my belongings felt like a walk of shame. The elevator stopped on the 5th floor, I saw Marco on the other side. He hesitated a little before entering. An awkward tension filled the little space. 
— I'm sorry. - He said, finally breaking the silence.
— It's okay. - I smiled altough I definitely wasn't smiling inside. It's weird how you start seeing things differently once you stop associating with them. The formal suit paired with safari themed shirt he was wearing was "so quirky" it made me want to vomit. I know Marco felt guilty because he couldn't do anything to stop them from firing me. He used to be so talkative and now we stood in silence like it was my funeral rather than a farewell party. Although no one actually threw a party for me either. I ran out as quickly as possible once we reached the first floor. I didn't care about the weird looks they were shooting at me, I just wanted to finally exit the damn building.

Once I stepped outside I took a deep breath. I tasted the freedom in it. Couldn't enjoy the feeling very long as the reallity was ready to knock me out. I lost my job. Again. I decided to walk my way home as it was not so far away. I took my time, I had nowhere to rush to, I enjoyed the scenery, wondering if this year was the universe's way of telling me that my dream to live in Rome may never come true. I love this city, the color palette, the way it is romanticised, the weather, people, language. I stopped at my favorite corner shop to grab a bottle of riesling, planning to drown my negative thoughts in it. My phone buzzed.
— Ciao, mia stella! I heard the news! - My best friend Saffron screamed in my ear.
— Hello to you too. - I didn't even question how she found out about me getting fired.
— Are you home yet?
— Will be in a few minutes. Why?
— I'm looking at my schedule, I have a meeting in 10 minutes, it should end at 6 pm and then I can head straight to your place. Do you have wine already?
— Woah, woah, hold your horses! I really don't feel like having company today, I'm sorry. - I said, knowing she won't let me off the hook so easily.
— You know I won't take no for an answer. - she chuckled.
— Saf, please, I just want to relax and plan my next steps.
— Next steps my ass! I know you, you'll spend the evening sulking until you fall asleep. 
— Okay, you got me, - I laughed rotating a bottle of wine in my hand, - Is riesling okay to you?
— Anything is okay if it's just a starter.
— Starter? Saf, I really...
— Okay I have to run now, see you! - she hung up knowing I was about to protest against her crazy ideas.

My apartment was rather small, but had a great view of the street. I was that crazy person, who didn't mind the noisy streets, I actually enjoyed it. It made me feel less lonely here. I kicked off my shoes and sat at the kitchen table that was only a few steps from the door. Nervously, I openned my bank app to see how screwed I am. The numbers pleasantly surprised me. Looks like I have enough to pay my rent three months ahead. I sighed in relief and pulled the box from work closer, to sort it out. I've gotten used to this "chore" by now. I even don't buy plants for my office anymore, because I don't want to keep a reminder of my failures at my home and throwing away a live thing isn't an option either. 

I'm not going to lie, Saffron did lift my mood a little. She showed up with two bottles of champagne, crazy girl. I know it was part of a plan, but I didn't object, because I found myself enjoying the distraction. 
— You know what we should do? - Saf said smirking.
— Oh no, it's starting... - I downed the glass of bubbles.
— No, listen, we should make use of your connections, let's go out! - she grabbed my hand.
— Saf, I admit, your company did help me, but I'm not going out tonight.
— Come on, live a little! When was the last time we went to a club?
— I can't and don't even want to remember. - I said, feeling myself sobering up with every sentence that left Saf's mouth.
— Sky, I am serious right now. Let me put this in your perspective - you have no job, you may not find one in time to keep on living here and if that happens, you will forever regret turning down my offer on the plane back to your parents. 
— Wow, thanks for believing in me,-  I scoffed.
— I do believe in you, but I know that's the scenario that runs in your head, so I'm trying to speak in your language. I've heard there's an open mic in "Cashmere" tonight. You don't think you could call someone to let us skip the line, do you? -  she raised an eyebrow.
— I guess I could try calling Marco, he planned an opening party for that club... -  I said knowing I let myself get defeated by her twice today. I didn't even put up a fight. I guess deep down I was craving an adventure, but my head was trying it's best to be reasonable.
— That's my girl! Don't worry drinks are on me tonight, since you're going broke. - Saf winked at me. I dialed Marco's number as slow as possible, hesitating, because of the awkward encounter we had earlier today. 

To my surprise, he was able to secure us two invitations to the club. Saffron rummaged through my closed putting together very revealing outfits as I drank champagne straight from the bottle. I needed that liquid courage to be able to actually enjoy myself. Once bubbles did their job, I found myself getting excited. I slipped into a tight, black silk dress, put my best pair of heels and even a red lipstick on. If I'm going out, I might as well go all out!

We were caught off guard when we saw the line in front of the club. There were dozens of young people screaming for the guard to let them in. I felt bad skipping all of them.
— What's going on there? Where did these people come from? - I screamed into the bouncer's ear.
— A few celebrities have made an appearance there tonight, go in, or people may eat you both alive - he chuckled, stamping our wrists. 

The place was packed full. Somehow, we managed to get us seats by the bar. Saffron didn't waste time and ordered us some colorful cocktails.
— Cheers to your freedom! - she put the glass up.
— Cheers.
She quickly downed her glass and pulled me to the dance floor. At first I felt like a tree, I was just standing there, but soon enough all the alcohol I had consumed made me mesmerized by the colorful lights dancing around. Slowly, I felt the music wrap around me and move my body for me. I closed my eyes and shut my mind down. It was nice to escape this world and enter a trance. 

Saffron had the shots coming and soon I had to force her to stop, because I was very close to the line I feared crossing. We went back to the dance floor, but I started to feel dizzy from lack of air. I asked her to the ladies room. I entered the stall and smiled to myself recalling how happy Saf looked tonight. She was my friend since middle school. She was my rock, she encouraged me to follow my dreams and even accompanied me. It's funny how she's doing way better here than I do, even though it was my dream to move to Italy. I was glad I overcame my stubbornness and agreed to go out. 

Once I did my business, I stood in front of the mirror. Lack of air was still getting to me, so I splashed some cold water on my face and tried to regain my composure before leaving the bathroom. I was determined to get a breather, so didn't bother interrupting Saf, who was already making out with some guy. I knew going out the main entrance was mission impossible, so I made my way to the back door. Working as an event organiser came in handy to me, because I had the oppurtunity to go to so many different venues, that I have the layouts memorized and they tend to be quite simmilar. I was proud at my succes of finding a small door leading to the back of the building. At this point I was feeling like a wreck. I gulped the air like a fish for a while. 
— Ti va di fumare? - a raspy voice made me jump. I turned around to see a man leaning against the wall a few feet from me. I was so caught off guard, that I just stared at him for a second.
— You don't speak italian? - he asked again.
— I-I do, but I'm not very fluent. - I smiled awkwardly.
— No problem, do you want a smoke? - he laughed from the shadow, extending his hand with a cigarette in my direction.
— Thanks. - I grabbed it, even though I'm not a smoker.
— Having a good time? - he asked.
— Oh, yeah, kind of. - I said inhaling the smokes. I wasn't used to smoking, so it made me caugh.
— Not a smoker huh? - the man chuckled, taking the cigarette from my hand.
— Not r-eally, but to-night I really f-eel like it. - I said struggling.
— This one's done, let me grab another one, - he said, searching through his pockets.
— Oh no, it's not necessary. - I jumped.
— Easy... here. - he lit a new one and passed it to me.
— Are you having a shitty day too? - I asked.
— No, I'm just here to have a good tiiime! - he sticked his tongue out and started jamming to the song that started playing inside. I laughed.
— See, you learned how to properly smoke tonight! Doesn't that make your day good? - he laughed.
— Yeah, it does! - his energy was contagious and I no longer was feeling nauseous, - What's your name by the way?
— Damiano.