Less talking | Maneskin |

Ghosts from the past

*SKY'S POV*

I put the pen away and looked at the piece of paper that now hield my thoughts on it. I read it again and wondered how he would respond if he ever saw it. I glanced at the window and it looked like the weather this evening was really nice. I haven't been outside since Saf left and at this point I started feeling too cooped up, so I jumped out of bed and changed into more appropriate clothes. I was proud of myself for finally pushing myself to do something other than sulking in the bed or in front of the TV. It took a while for me to find the keys. I managed to create quite a mess during the past days and cleaning seemed to be too big of a task to tackle. 

I wasn't wrong about the weather. It was crisp and just the right temperature for a walk around the neighbourhood. The sun was setting, painting everything in beautiful shades of gold. It was strange going on a walk on my own. I was okay in my own company at home, but outside it was a different thing. I felt like I was lost somehow, walking without a purpose. Well, my purpose was to finally get some fresh air and hopefully get motivation to be more active. I spent too much time being an unproductive mess, I can't allow myself to be this way anymore just because I had my heart broken. People deal with way bigger problems and I'm just stuck in self pittying all the time. As Dr. Seuss said, "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Sometimes it's easier said than done though.

My mind wandered to Brandon and our dinner together. I wonder how my rejection made him feel. Of course it wasn't a big deal, because we weren't inlove or anything, but I still think what happened with Damiano may be karma punishing me for not being honest from the start. I wonder how will things be when I come back to US. Will we manage to be friends despite the awkwardness of our last goodbye or will he just disappear like everyone else. I wasn't very excited about the idea of living at my parents' again. I love them and miss them all the time, but I got used to living on my own and making my own decisions. My family gets overpowering sometimes, but I had no other choice. Renting a place on my own wasn't an option, because the prices are way out of what I could afford. I pulled out my phone and started looking for last minute flights to US. If I wanted to leave Italy, it was best to do it while Saf was away. I knew she would try to persuade me to stay and I would most probably give in, but staying here does more damage than good at this point. 

I started walking back home with a newly found mission of packing my stuff and cleaning the apartment so I could leave as fast as it was possible. I still scrolled through the flight deals when I reached the gate. 
— Sky? - I heard a feminine voice call me from the corner of the fence.
— Hm? - I looked up in the direction of it. I saw a petite figure come my way. At first I couldn't make out who it was, because it was already too dark, but as she came into the light of a street lantern, I got chills all over my body.
— Can we talk? - Giorgia looked at me with a concerned look on her face.
— I have nothing to say to you, - I struggled to get the words out.
— No, wait, please, - she grabbed my hand.
— How did you find me? Are you following me? - I took her hand away from me.
— I almost had to blackmail their manager to give me your adress, - she looked guilty, - Sky, we really have to talk.
— I don't want anything to do with you. Leave me alone, - I started dialing the code for the gate to open.
— I beg you, Sky! - she started crying and fell on her knees. 
— What are you doing? - I lifted her up on her feet. The scene was embarrassing.
— I promise I will leave you alone as soon as you hear me out, - she grabbed onto me.
— Fine, come in, - I sighed. I figured listening to whatever she wanted to say was better than making a scene for all the neighbours to watch.

We got up to Saf's apartment and I felt a little guilty bringing Giorgia here. I gestured for her to sit by the kitchen table and boiled some water for tea or coffee. I was surprised at myself for being so welcoming, but I guess it was thanks to my mother that always taught me to care for guests. I put our cups on the table and sat across from her, crossing my arms.
— Go on.
— I came here to tell you what really happened between me and Damiano that night, - she started.
— Are you serious right now? - I clenched my jaw, regreting letting her inside already.
— No, you don't understand, it's all fake and it was my fault! - she waved at me to wait. I sighed and nodded for her to continue.
— I love him. I don't want to admit it to myself, but I really do. I can't handle the thought that our relationship, our marriage is over. I fucked it up, Sky, I am the one to blame for us not working out and it destroyed me from inside. I lived in delusions, thinking that if I stall the divorce process for a little longer, he would eventually change his mind and give us an opportunity to fix things, but I was wrong, - she wiped her tears away, - I saw that article that was posted for a short while, about him moving on and when I saw you in those pictures, I immediately recognised who you were. It really hurt me, you know. I was so angry that I called the journalists to deny the rumors of our breakup. 
— You were only lying to yourself, - I shrugged, sipping hot tea.
— And unfortunately I can't say it was the last stupid move of mine. I got blinded by this hurt and anger and I made it my mission to get you away from him, - she bit her lip, remorsefully, - I'm so sorry, Sky... I really am.
She sniffled a little and I felt sorry for her not even knowing what she was going to tell me yet.
— I managed to track the down when they were rehearsing for their show and I told the security I was a family member and asked them to call him outside. I tried talking him into giving me a chance, but he shut me out completely, telling me he loved you,- she paused again, to regain composure, - I got really mad and planned to do something I will forever be ashamed and sorry for... After the show I followed them to the club. Bouncer knew who I was, so he let me in and I got to execute my plan. After a few shots others went dancing and smoking, Damiano went to a bar to get another drink and I slipped a pill in it, - she broke down crying.
— You drugged him?! - I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
— I did! - she balled her eyes out, - I tipped off the paparazzi before, so when I saw my pill starting to take effect on him, I got closer to him and... you know what happened, - she burried her face in her hands.
— I can't believe you, - I shook my head with my heart racing.
— And... even then, he called me by your name.
— And you dare to say you love him?! Wow, I am disgusted by you... - I felt rage building up inside of me.
— I hate myself too, okay?! - she lifted her face up again and it was all wet from her tears. She took some time to collect herself again and I just stared at her, shocked by her words.
— I found out my plan worked, but I didn't feel as victorious as I thought I would, - she took a napkin I handed to her, - I still planned on somehow entering his life again, so I followed him as much as I could, but when I saw how devastated by this all situation he was, my heart broke... He's suffering, Sky, you have no idea how hurt he is and it's all my fault. I'm sorry, trully, deeply sorry for causing both of you this pain, but please, you have to come back to him, please...
— I-I don't know what to say to you, - I still was in a state of shock.
— He's crying out to you, I don't know if you seen it, but he couldn't handle singing some of his songs without falling apart completely on the stage during the concert. Please, save him, because I'm afraid he will destroy himself completely, - she looked sincere and I was afraid she was telling the truth.

I felt incredibly stupid and angry with myself for not seeing right through this whole situation. She called herself a taxi when all her emotions finally simmered down. I never hated anyone until I met her, but at the same time I worried and felt sorry for her. I felt uneasy after she left, not knowing what to do. I thought I didn't have any tears left from crying so much before, but I felt the hot liquid streaming down my face, without me even realising it. Millions of thoughts ran through my head and despite me putting my best efforts, I couldn't sleep most of the night. I gave myself time to process everything until the morning and then figure out what I was going to do about it. 

I must have fallen asleep early in the morning, because the clock showed me 12 PM when a doorbell woke me up. Confused, I slid out of the bed and went to open the door, wondering if it could be Saf coming home early. I jumped, seeing Ethan standing in my doorway.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hey! 

Just coming here to tell you, that the first part of my new story "BUNNY" is already out! Check it out if you're interested in a different storyline ;)

Love You all,

Angelisation <3