Less talking | Maneskin |

Farewell

My palms immediately got sweaty when I got off the taxi. I stood in front of the house that I made so many beautiful memories in and it looked cold and foreign. There were no lights inside, which relieved the tension a little bit. I fished out my keys and unlocked the door as quietly as possible. I didn't want to be heard in case someone was inside despite lack of signs. It smelled like home inside and my heart started aching again knowing it's my last time being here. As hard as I tried to be strong, emotions were very close to overfilling my inner glass. I silently walked up the stairs, stopping on the second floor for a little bit. I looked at their bedrooms, silently saying goodbye and continued going up to my room. 

I flicked on the light and pulled out every single suitcase and bag I owned to strategically plan how to pack everything up. I didn't bring a lot when I first moved here, but stuff accumulates over time. I started with my clothes. I took everything off the hangers and quickly folded, putting it into piles on my bed. I reached the hangers with my outfits from Vienna and stoped, thinking what to do with them for a while. I couldn't just leave them behind, but keeping such expensive clothes, that they bought for me wasn't an option either. I added the outfits to the pile, not wanting to waste time as it was already late. Donating seemed like the best decision to me. I sandwiched everything in my suitcase and struggled to zip it for a while. 
— I didn't hear you, - I heard a raspy voice behind me. I saw his reflection in the ceiling window and my heart sank.
— Get out, - I said, not even facing him. 
— You saw it, right? - he clenched his jaw a little bit, in a serious tone.
— I know I wasn't supposed to, - I chukled irronically.
— Listen, Sky, - he came closer and put his hand on my shoulder.
— Don't touch me, - I got up and went to pack up my toiletries.
— Are you leaving? - he looked at the bags on the floor. I didn't respond. My mind was racing as much as my heart. His pressence was so strong that I felt like I was the one who did something wrong.
— Hey, baby, listen to me, - I heard through an open bathroom door.
— You can't say anything that would make it all look better at this moment, - I dared to look at him and immediately regreted it as an enormous lump started forming in the back of my throat. 
— Sky, I would never do anything to hurt you, - he looked at me distressed.
— You must be understanding that word differently. You fucking lied and cheated on me! - my emotions errupted and I felt like I needed to spill them out to get closure.
— I didn't, - he shook his head.
— So you can't even admit to it? Great. I don't know what satisfaction you got out of this sick little game of yours, but I'm leaving and it would be best if you just stayed the fuck away from me and let me pack up in peace.
— I tell you, I didn't kiss her! - he got a little heated too.
— Uh-huh and the pictures just miraculously appeared on the internet! Or are you going to tell me those are old ones? I won't fall for that bullshit either, you're wearing my bracelet. - I started packing up my jewelry.
— Can you just hear me out? - he walked up to me.
— No, Damiano, I'm done listening to you. I don't care what you're going to make up to justify your actions, it's not the first time you break my trust. I'm done.
— So you don't trust me, huh? - he looked disappointed, - I opened up to you, Sky, I was so vulnerable and I took a risk for us to be together.
— Congratulations.
— Why are you acting this way? I know it's hard to understand, but you don't even let me explain!
— Stop it, I beg you! I don't want to hear it, how many more times do I have to tell you this? I admit, you fooled me. I believed in everything you said, I ignored my family and friends' concerns about us. You won, okay? They were right telling me not to fall for a damn rockstar. They told me you're probably not even going to divorce her. I don't know why I thought it will be different for me... - I turned away from him, feeling hot tears starting to stream down my cheeks.
— So it's easier for you to assume things rather than hearing me out? You know what? I fucking love you, I thought that we had something special going on, but I'm done putting up with your insecurities and lack of confidence! If you want to make me into some kind of monster, go on. I won't fall on my knees before you begging for forgiveness for the things I didn't even do. I'm kind of glad this situation happened because it opened my eyes how wrong I was about this relationship. I thought you were different but turns out you're just a coward! I regret ever opening up to you, - he grunted and his words pierced me like bullets.
— I tossed and turned in my bed that night, feeling guilty because my childhood friend almost kissed me! Almost! And you act like I'm blowing things out of proportion when I find an article about you making out with your supposedly almost ex-wife! Wow, I never thought you had this in you, - I couldn't recognise the person that was standing in front of me.
— Yes, it's us in those pictures, but I never voluntarily did this with her! I can't even fucking remember it! - he gesticulated wildly.
— Then how can you be sure you didn't want it? - I laughed irronicaly.
— And how can I be sure you didn't sleep with that childhood friend of yours, huh? It's called trust! I thought we were over the past drama, turns out I was wrong. I'm not going to bother trying to explain it to you, you're still going to believe what you want to believe, I'm done too, Sky, if that's what you want, leave, run away. At least I won't have to look at you anymore, - he said and left my room, slamming the door. 

I didn't understand why he reacted so explosively, but even if I was able to stay calm after reading that article, I could no longer handle the pain his words caused me. I sat on the floor and tried to stay as quiet as possible while sobbing uncontrollably. It was frustrating to me that even after what happened I still loved him and I could even take him back if I acted solely the way my heart told me to. I hated that he could walk all over me and I would want to say "thank you" after. Crying helped a lot. It made me physically uncomfortable, but at least I felt a temporary relief inside. I finished packing my stuff and it took a decent amount of time, but it was worth it in the end, because I managed to fit everything into three medium bags that I could carry down myself in one going. I took a final glance at my room and switched off the light, going downstairs. 

Damiano sat in the kitchen with a bottle of some kind of liquor. He didn't even look my way. I called the taxi and quickly ran around the first floor to check if any of my belongings were left there. The car pulled up quite quickly and the driver loaded my stuff in the trunk. I went back inside one last time. Clutching the keys in my hand I approached him. He was focused on his phone, still not looking at me.
— I guess that's it, - I said, hating how shaky my voice sounded, - Give these back to Isla. If you find anything that belongs to me, I will give Isla my adress, you can send it there, - I said, pushing the keys towards him.
— Go already! - he startled me. I didn't expect this harshness.
— Goodbye, Damiano, - I walked out, trying not to fall apart until I reach the exit.