Tamanna E Khaam ✨

17 💟

Saad drove as fast as he could. He had a hunch where Falak was. He drove to the place where Falak confessed to him. As he drove, he thought how much their changed in a mere month. How the seven of them were the happiest people on the earth and how they ended up being broken and miserable.

He parked his car as he reached his destination. He got out of his car and sighed in relief as he noticed Falak's car parked there as well. But to his dismay she wasn't there.

"Fifi?" He yelled out. "Falak???" He tried calling her phone but it rang in her car.

He looked around for here and there she was. Sitting on a rock staring off in the distance. He called her name twice but she was as still as a statue. He shook her arms pulling her out of her daze.

"Saad?" She questioned. "Tum yahan?"

"Falak have you lost your senses? 3 ghante se ghar se bina batae nikli ho and you have the audacity to not answer your phone. Do you have any idea how worried everyone is? Your mom, Jen and I?" He yelled at her. Falak took a deep breath as she stood up.

"MY AUDACITY?" She yelled pushing his chest. "look at yourself Saad. Why are you even here? What gives you the right to be here? Huh?" She pushed him again. "Why the fuck do you care huh? Why were you worried??" She yelled hitting his chest.

"Falak, you're my friend I care about you." Saad said calmly.

"FRIEND?? Do you even hear yourself. You led me on Saad. Kyu prioritise kiya tumne mujhe? Kyu meri itni fikar karty thy? Jab pyaar nahi tha to kyu mujhe Jen Sadia aur Mariyam se differently treat kiya?" She cried.

If Saad were to be honest he didn't know why he did that either.

"You're a hypocrite Saad." She sobbed.

"Falak..." He was out of words to say to her.

"But tumhe pata hai kya Saad?" She said dropping on her knees, still crying. "I can't help but love you. You broke me Saad but still I still want you. I don't think I could ever love someone else. And as pathetic as it sounds, I'll wait for you. Forever." She sniffled.

"Falak." He said kneeling beside her. "Falak main kahin nahi jaa raha. Mai ab bhi tumhara dost hoon. Humesha rahoonga. Please apne saath aisa mat karo. Khud ko barbad mat karo mere liye. I don't want that. Harry wouldn't want that." He told her.

"I have to go." She said standing up. He held her arm before she could leave.

"Promise me you'd get better."

"I'll try." She said removing her arm from his grip. She got into her car and drove away, leaving him there alone.

Falak dropped on her bed, staring at the ceiling above. She wished everything would just stop. She wondered how on earth did she end up here. In this situation.

'baba chale gye. fir mere dost. harry left. am i willing to let saad go? he said he's still my friend. having him as a friend is better than losing him completely. but as harry said I wouldn't be able to stay friends with him for long.'

Falak rolled out of her bed and stared out the window. She looked up at the sky and cried.

'kash tum yahan hote haris. I miss you so much harry. tum yahan hote toh tum mujhe btate ke main kya karoon. aur agar tumhare pass koi solution nahi hota toh tum atleast mujhe distract hi kar dete. distraction!! yes...I need to distract my self. I'll go to college from now on. yes I'll do that. aur rahi baat saad ki, toh i guess it's better to have something rather than nothing. besides hadi sadia aur mariyam ka isme kya fault jo hum unhe choose krne ko kahen.'

Falak called Jen and poured her heart out to her. She told her the interaction between her and Saad, what she was thinking before she called her. She told her everything.

"I'm with you in whatever you do." Jen said.

"Thank you Jen." She said.

Falak called Saad after ending her conversation with Jen. A part of her thought he wouldn't answer but to her surprise he did.

"Fifi? Hello??" He asked when she didn't speak for a while.

"I want to get better Saad. Meri help karoge?" She asked.

"Hamesha."

That one word felt the world to her. And with that everything changed for Falak. It was the day she decided she would have everything as the universe is giving her. She knew there's no point in fighting, so she gave up. If Saad doesn't love her, she'd have him as a friend. If Haris didn't have enough life, she would live for him.

Falak attended college for the very first time since Haris passed. It was difficult at first since she and Jen kept getting pitiful glances from her fellow classmates. Teachers who knew they were close to Haris, paid their condolences to them. Falak decided she would stop bunking classes and would study with dedication.

Falak and Jen were walking to the cafeteria when Falak said Jen's name.

"Haan?"

"How are you?" Falak asked. "I'm sorry I didn't ask earlier. I acted like a entitled and selfish person. How could I not realise you were going through the same pain?" She rambled.

"Main theek hoon. I wouldn't say ke I'm perfectly fine. Kabhi kabhi lagta hai ke abhi pichee se Harry ayega aur hum dono ko daraega aur kahega kitna slow chalte ho tum dono." Jen chuckled sadly wiping a tear which escaped her eye unintentionally. "But life goes on Fifi. And no, you weren't selfish. I'm pretty sure you don't even remember it but you called me multiples nights just to ask how i was holding up. You may have been in a messed up state of mind but subconsciously you did all that." Jen assured her.

The two reached the cafeteria and spotted Hadi and Sadia. The two joined them. Sadia hugged them both tightly. She wasn't that close with Haris but still her heart ached even after months. So she could only imagine would the two were going through. Sadia remembered how she spent countless nights listening to Hadi cry to her over the phone.

Falak silently sat beside Hadi resting her head on his shoulder. It was their way of being with each other. Wordlessly helping each other. Saad joined the group and sat infront of Hadi beside Jen. Nothing was the same, it would never be.

"Mariyam kahan hai?" Jen asked breaking the tension.

"Aaj nahi aayi." Sadia replied.

"Kuch khaya?" Hadi whispered to Falak.

"Dinner kiya tha." She shrugged.

"Fifi aise kaise chalega?" Sadia asked as heard her response.

"Chal jaega yaar life hi toh hai. Isko itna seriously lengy to kaise chalega." Falak sighed sitting up.

And that's how it came to be. Falak being distant and stoic. Saad and Falak remained friends. It was nothing more or less. Saad made sure to not give in to his urges to care for her more than he should. He treated as he treated others. Often she would call him in the middle of the night after her outbursts, he would help her calm down and that was that.

As time passed Falak felt the need to get therapy so, she did. She felt much alive now. She noticed Saad distancing himself from her but this time she didn't feel the need to fight it. It was better since she seemed to get used to him a bit too much. And she felt Haris' words come true as she found it hard to be just a friend to him. So it was better that Saad distanced himself, since she was unable to do it herself.

Two years felt like an eternity. Time passed agonizingly slow for Falak but somehow she managed to pull through with Jen by her side. Falak had next to no contact with Saad as their college life came to an end. She graduated with a void in her heart. Missing, what was the best thing that happened to her, her friend group. Though she still met up with Hadi and Sadia occasionally it wasn't the same, but she would forever cherish the time she spent with those amazing people.