chapter 44

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Tae swallowed once, then twice

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Tae swallowed once, then twice. 

Standing there in the courtyard was Sky.  She looked even more fragile than he remembered. 

She had her cloak wrapped tightly around her, but again Tae noticed she did not wear gloves. He had to blink to make sure she was real.  He had imagined her so many times, in so many places he was not sure.

But he knew deep down.  He could sense her now, could feel her nerves and embarrassment as she looked at Susan and then down at herself.

Her face was chapped and red from the cold and tinged with embarrassment as she caught Tae's eye.

He saw her steal a glance at his companion, taking in her sophistication from head to heels.  Sky tried to hide even more deeply into her hood and began to ease toward the door.

“Wait….” Tae called, freezing her in place and causing a confused frown to crease his date's face.

“Excuse me for just a minute, please,” Tae asked, never taking his eyes off the figure at the door.
He reached Sky just as she eased to the door.

He stood looking at her, scrambling for what to say but coming up empty.

Her eyes searched his face, seeking the condemnation she deserved, praying for the slightest encouragement which she knew she did not.

She drew a shuddering breath.  This was it.  He deserved to know everything. 

She had stood outside until the cold wind numbed her feet.  She would have given up, again, if Nev had not seen her and pulled her inside.

She stood watching Taehyung across the room feeling him in that inexplicable way she always had.

Her heart broke to see him smile at the beautiful woman.  She looked down at her now tattered cloak and her ruined hands.  She felt the chaffing of her face and knew it was as red and ugly as her hands.  He belonged with the woman across from him.  They were stunning together. 

She watched as he laughed at something she said.  Tears pricked her eyes as she mourned the loss of him. 

She had convinced herself she could not do this and began to leave, until his dark head swung her way and his eyes captured hers. 

She watched them go wide in surprise then narrow in some response she could not name. 

He was staring hard at her, in anger? He had every right.  Was he disgusted by her? Her weirdness was now even more prominent in comparison to the beauty he had found.  They were obviously on a date and she cursed herself violently for even thinking about that.  She had no right to be jealous.

And then he moved. 

He moved away from his date and toward her.  Was that anger in his stride? Eagerness?  She was so confused and overwhelmed by the emotions swirling in her.

He stopped in front of her just as she was sure she had made her escape. 

She had to remind herself to breath.  He overwhelmed all her senses with his nearness.  His clean scent surrounded her, reminding her of how it felt to be safe in his arms.  His eyes never left hers but he gave away no hint as to what he was thinking.

She simply stood for a few moments matching her breathing to his, watching the shadows flicker in his eyes. She felt him deep in her bones and it broke her heart all over again. 

She needed to get this done and disappear.  Then she could fade away into nothing.  That thought no longer held any fear for her.  She had been fading away for most of her life.

Tae felt her emotions flow through him in that connection that was as strong as ever.  He fought the urge to comfort her or welcome her. 

He tried to hold himself apart and wait for her to tell him with words why she was here. He needed to hear the words because he could no longer trust his emotions or his connection with her.

Finally she spoke.

“I…..I should not have come.  You are…..busy.  I …….don’t belong here,” she stuttered.

His voice stopped her from leaving, drew her in as surely as if he had put his hands on her.

“Why are you here?” he asked, worlds of meaning in that simple question.

Tae felt someone behind him, but he refused to break eye contact with Sky.  He knew with certainty that she would disappear if he did.

Susan's soft voice sounded behind him. She tried to start a conversation, tried to introduce herself to Sky, but it was obvious she was intruding.

“I should leave,” she finally said, putting her hand on Tae's sleeve, hoping against hope he would contradict her. 

Sky ducked her head and tried to slip out the door, but found it held fast and herself trapped as Taehyung leaned his hand against  the door frame.

“Why?  I will wait,” he whispered.

He turned his back to her then, facing the other woman, but not before capturing one of her hands in his.  His long fingers easily wrapped around her wrist and pulled her behind him.

“Thank you for a lovely time.  Do you need a ride anywhere?  Nev will see that you safely get home,” he said, summoning the other man over.

Susan shook her head, noting the way he held Sky's hand and shielded her from everyone else.

“I am good.  I have my car “she answered.” I really enjoyed this afternoon.  Maybe we can meet for dinner next week.” 

She took the calculated risk of seeking another date.  She did not understand the situation, but she knew she would regret it forever if she did not try.

Taehyung smiled at her. “I am very sorry.  I have some urgent matters that must be addressed and I will be very busy.  Perhaps we will see each other at the office sometime,” he offered.

She nodded. “Perhaps,” she responded and turned and walked out the door. 

She sighed as she pulled away.  He was a great guy, sexy as hell and knock out gorgeous and he had just turned her down flat.  He had firmly limited any relationship with him to strictly a professional one, in the kindest way possible.
 
She stopped on the way home for her favorite ice cream and a bottle of wine.  This was so not the way she had hoped to end her evening, but it would have to do.

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