chapter 45

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Tae turned and looked at Sky

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Tae turned and looked at Sky.  He frowned at how pale she was under the windburn and how deep the circles were under her eyes.  Her wrist was so thin and delicate his fingers easily enclosed it.  He was sure his grip was bruising her.

He let go and took a small step back.

“When was the last time you ate?” he asked.

She stood staring at him, unable to answer because she could not really remember. 

She felt the room start to sway and was grateful to feel Taehyung’s hand reach to steady her.  He was calling her name and she was trying to focus, but everything seemed in blurred slow motion.

Tae and Nev exchanged worried glances. Nev looked around the room and saw the tables had filled up for the dinner hour.  He was calculating which spot to clear when Tae spoke, his voice low and sure.

“Get food, whatever is ready, and drinks.  Bring something hot too please, tea or soup,” he paused to look down at Sky, her unfocused glaze sealing his decision. “We’re going up to the gallery.”

Nev nodded and hurried back to the kitchen as Tae guided Sky to the elevator.  He was alarmed at the way she slumped against the wall, but she seemed able to stand on her own. 

Tae was glad of that fact because he was torn between leaving Nev to care for her and picking her up in his arms and carrying her the rest of the way.

He helped her into the large space and eased her onto the low cushions close to the fireplace.  He turned the gas logs on and looked for the basket of blankets Lyra had left there. 

Finding it, he grabbed two and hurried to Sky. He draped one over her lap and one over her shoulders as she sat and stared into the fire.

He looked around and selected a small, low table and pushed it over in front of the seating area   he selected cushions of his own and sank down across from the silent figure resting in the shadows of the fire flame.

All the busy work out of the way, he simply watched and waited.

She was as beautiful as he dreamed, although now there was an added layer of sadness about her.  Tae forced himself to wait and listen to what she had to say. 

In the meantime, he memorized everything about the way she looked in the firelight. Sighing, he entertained the thought that even disheveled and hungry and withdrawn, she still spoke to his heart, still resonated with his soul. 

He cursed his instinct.  Never before  had it led him so far wrong.

Nev broke the silence as he rolled off the elevator with trays of food and drink.  He quietly put down dishes he had nabbed from the kitchen.  He sat steaming cups of soup and hot tea in front of Sky.  She slowly turned as he put down simple and hearty dishes.  The breaking point was the smell from the last platter as he uncovered a perfectly cooked steak.

Sky blinked at the table full of food and swallowed hard.  She was deeply embarrassed as her stomach responded to the delicious sights and smells with a deep rumble.

Tae could see her embarrassment and quickly tried to cover it by thanking Nev and declaring his mouth was watering just looking at it.

Nev nodded, his worried glance going from one of them to the other.

“Eat it well and enjoy please,” he said, hurrying away to help the cook replace the food they had just taken.

The silence after he left was awkward.  Tae had no idea what to say to her.

Sky took a deep breath.  She was tempted in every sense by everything before her.

The heat of the fire warmed her to the point of lethargy.  She tried to remember the last time she had been truly warm,, the last time she had not shivered in the dark with only her tattered cloak for comfort.

She would have surrendered if not for the active seduction of the sight and aroma of the food before her.  She longed to eat and drink her fill. She did not remember the last hot meal she had, or as she had just told Tae, the last time she ate.

And the man…… her sense of longing for Taehyung had never dulled, or wavered.  She wanted to give him every meager bit of herself that was left.  Except now the reality hit her that all he would want from her was her truth.

She nodded, gathered her courage and spoke.

“Taehyung.  I have come to tell you….”

“Eat! The food is getting cold.  We have to eat first, “he interrupted, fixing a small plate for her and insisting she take the hot cup of tea.

She blinked and accepted it. 

She was weak, always had been.  And she was tired, tired of fighting, tired of surviving, tired of denying herself what she desperately wanted.  She gave up and gave in, sighing in deep pleasure as the brandy laced tea warmed her hands, then her body as she slowly sipped.

Tae was insistent that she eat.  They had entire conversations in their heads without being aware.  He made sure she ate the rich broth and carefully cut the perfect steak into strips, coaxing her to eat and gain strength.
She stopped eating more quickly than he liked, but he knew she was not used to eating like this and was probably quite full already.

He finished the rest of his meal quickly, watching her burrow more deeply into the blankets and turn once again to the soothing flicker of the fire.

Finishing, he cleared things away and resettled into the nest he had made for himself on the floor, finding his own peace in the dance of the flame. 

He had a selfish wish that they could suspend time, stay like this in quiet communion, not allowing the past or the things they both had to say to intrude.

That wish was granted for a while, Tae checking occasionally to see if Sky's even breathing indicated she had fallen asleep.

She had not.  She was selfishly stealing these minutes to last her forever.  She could hear his steady breathing, feel the warm comfort of his presence.  If only things could stay this way.  But they could not.  She had come here to give him her truth.  She had delayed too long already.

As she felt herself drifting off, she forced herself to sit up and turn to Tae.  She cleared her throat and called him. 

“Taehyung….I am here to apologize and to tell you things I should have told you in the beginning,” she said.

He nodded, forcing himself to maintain his relaxed posture despite that fact that his heart was hammering in his chest. 

He waited for her to continue, dread stealing over him with what she was about to say.

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