chapter 60

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She sat alone with her thoughts until the sun turned to shadow

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She sat alone with her thoughts until the sun turned to shadow.  She was content to write poems in her head and let the lingering emotions of the crowds slip away.

Finally, she move from the chair, stumbling over bags and boxes as she did.  She grew excited about putting her things away and picking something new to wear when Tae came tonight.

She turned and glanced at the rumbled bed, smiling as she carefully straightened it, debating for just a moment before she carefully turned the covers back.

Not allowing herself time to dream about later tonight, she stacked the boxes and bags on the bed and on the chair, going through each and putting things away.  She was puzzled, then excited as she reached the first bag of things she did not pick out.

Then she remembered Tae standing whispering to the young clerk as she shopped. She was eager to find what he had chosen for her.

Quickly the closet and antique dressers filled.  She hung a new pair of jeans and a soft sweater on the door to wear later.

Next, she found the undergarments she had selected.

She had a moment of panic then.  She had never tried to seduce anyone with sexy lingerie.  She had no idea what style Tae liked.  Things had been so natural between them she had not really thought about that. Now it seemed like information she should know.

She took far too long to decide, but finally picked a simple set with delicate flowers that reminded her of spring.  The days were dreary now and she was anxious for the earth to bloom again.

Near the end she discovered the large box of body care products.  She recognized the ones Tae had used, found some just for her needs and finally found the body wash, shampoo, creams and lotions.

She took the box into the bathroom and quickly found a place for everything. As she closed the door to the cabinet above the sink, she caught her reflection.  Her hair was escaping it's bun in a mess, her face looked dry and chapped.  She checked the time and decided she had plenty of time before Tae arrived to shower and use these gifts.

As she started the shower, she headed back to put away the last boxes.  She dropped one she had not opened and out spilled the crimson velvet robe.

She gasped as the rich fabric puddled at her feet.  Picking it up, she held it against her body, sighing at how soft and plush it was.  She loved everything about it.

Finishing in the bedroom she headed to the shower, robe over her arm, and picked out products to use.

Thirty minutes later she was smiling as she stepped out into the steamy room.  She could not remember the last time she had felt this soft and pampered.

She slipped on the robe and tightened the belt, allowing it to hug her body, nodding in approval at the way it formed to her breasts and hips.

She towel dried her hair and began searching for a hair drier.  Finding none, she remembered Tae getting ready in the bath suite downstairs and wondered if there was one there.

She crept to the door of the staircase feeling foolish sneaking around.  She opened the door and checked to make sure the workers were gone.  It was well after 6 and the bottom floor was silent.

She padded down the stairs, glad that they had left on the lights and fireplace at the far end of the gallery.  The space was warm and the soft lighting drew her to the first gallery wall.

Her mind was on the night ahead and at first, she missed the work that had been completed that afternoon.

But as she searched for the hall to the bathroom, she noticed and it stopped her dead in her tracks.

There on the gallery wall hung two paintings, framed and lit professionally.  They were striking at first glance, but as she drew closer, she sank to her knees.

She did not have to search for a signature or plaque.  She knew.  She knew immediately that this was Taehyung’s work.  She also knew they reflected their relationship.

She sat on the floor in front of them, trembling at the emotions in the paintings, beauty, loss, hope, rage, hurt all were entwined in the canvases.

They had been hung with a large space between them, the rough exposed brick a statement in itself as a stark break between the two.

On the left was a woman, barefoot in a riot of flowers, color and hope blooming up her body as she tilted her face to the man.  The darkness above her was being driven away as she drew beauty and life and hope from the earth beneath her feet.  

Her face was turned, tilted up, seeking her lover's kiss.  She knew if the face was visible it would be a portrait of her own, less the tears now streaming down it. 

This was painted before Taehyung learned about Edward.  The scene was innocence and hope and everything one feels when love first blooms.  It was breathtaking.

But as she looked at the other painting, she felt darkness bear down.  This was Tae after the night at the hospital.  He would never have to tell her that, the emotions screamed off the canvass as surely as if he had shouted them at her in the hospital corridor.

There was a slash of red across the canvas.  To some it would blend into the darkness and smoke of the background.  To others it would read as an obvious open wound. 

Sky felt that tear, the despair hidden in the background, camouflaged but never completely covered.

The man's head and shoulders were bent.  He was glancing down into the face of the woman.  The colors of sunrise circled his head, but his face remained in shadow. 

His arms were filled with wildflowers and the colorful blooms slipped from his hands, seeming to fall into the outstretched hands of the woman in the painting beside him

He was offering her life and growth and beauty and her world was filling with it.

But as the flowers fell from his hands the darkness swirled from the ground below him, stealing all color and vibrancy from him.  Grey smoke and pearl mist wrapped around his legs, trapping him in place. 

His bare feet were standing on sod barren from his efforts to gather the flowers.   The color and beauty of everything within his reach had been ravaged for her.  

The angry red slash spilled over the edge of the canvas, his passion pooled in a puddle beneath his feet.

She sat rocking herself, overcome by the grief and guilt she felt. 

This was Taehyung’s heart nailed to the brick for the world to see, and she had been the one to break it.

She stood and walked to the painting of the man, staring up at it, fingers aching to sooth the wrinkled forehead, hands reaching to accept the gifts he offered.  This time a promise to more carefully treasure and protect them forming in her heart.

So absorbed was she that she did not hear the footsteps approach, or Tae's voice gently calling her name.

He reached to touch her and she knew, knew his presence, could feel him as he came into the room.

She turned to him, stepping a bit away, face stained with tears and a flush of shame.

She took a deep breath and gathered courage to look in his eyes.

“Please forgive me,” she whispered, her eyes piercing his spirit like nothing else ever could.

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