Shattered into million pieces

42

"Hyugi Hayes."

Mom I miss you. I feel so alone. My ears want to hear you nag at me. I want to hear you say "Hyu~ my son you have become so thin! and then you nagging at me, why don't you eat?

 The feeling of coming home really tired after a hectic day and then the feeling of having someone waiting in the house for you, hearing you complain about how hard life is. And then sharing a meal with you, I just miss that. How many nights and days have been passed without you, yet I still hope. And there is nothing I can do. I'm such a useless son.

I don't even know how many nights have passed like this. I don't even remember when I last had a proper meal. And here I'm sitting in a palace like home where one can hear his own echos. What's the purpose of building big castle like houses when you don't have happiness?

I was upset though I was smiling and pretending to be okay but inside I was just empty, like a scarecrow.

I looked at the interior of the house and it was just like a fantasy. It looked like the princess of the house was alone cooking in the kitchen. I pitied myself. That I have to eat the poisonous food made by her hands.

I need to pass the exams alive. I can't get sick. I looked at the burned food decorated on the tables. I don't understand.

"Whats the purpose of decorating burned food?"

What? Its not as bad as you think it is! she sulked.

Fine I will eat it. It isn't I have another choice. I said feeling guilty for my stomach.

"Its not as bad as it looks, it actually tastes a little similar to my mom's cooking."

You mean this pancake?

'Yes!" I nodded.

So you live in this palace!

Cell* she corrected me. "Why?" I asked.

'Just!-' When she was about to complete her sentence, the door opened.

'I had chills running all over my body.' Her parents came in, I nearly chocked on the food I was eating.

I looked at Nabi and she was calm. I guess only I was screeching internally.

I finished my food and greeted her parents, before I decided to leave.

I felt the dead silence as if we are in the graveyard. I asked myself do rich people live together with the distance of distant planets? Rich people do have a lot of attitudes. 

I came out of the big mansion as I took a good look of it, it sure is really fancy. As I faced my back towards the car I found something that I shouldn't have seen. My instinct was telling me I'm getting delusional.

"Thanks for the food Nabi and the final year project will be amazing!" Before I could wave her goodbye. The limousine on the side garage caught my attention. 

What a fancy limousine. Does it belongs to you? 

'Yeah! it belongs to my dad. She pouted.

I went around to see the car and it was the same car from the last time. Something in me was telling me not to check the plate number and I went close to see the number and I had all the papers slipped out of my hands. It can't be!

"What happened?" Nabi asked me.

I looked at her, thinking all of this time I was best friends with an enemy? The person I opened up my heart to, was an enemy who took the only damn thing I had? The girl that I thought gave a healing band aid to my heart. I told myself to forget the thing I just saw because she is the only friend I can feel like home with. But my heart was filling with negativity. Whatever you have in your heart, it is eventually reflected in your eyes. 

I stared her but all I could see was the flash back of the hand that slipping from my hand. The mother who was put to sleep. A sleep that was like forever. I had nothing that I could bargain with. I sold my organs because I was a desperate person who had no life without his mother. The emptiness in me always reminded me the calmness of a mother's hug. Whenever I would think of going home I only had pain that reminded me I am just a looser.

  I silently left the mansion after biding my goodbye.  

I walked like the paper blown by the rustling wind. My shoulders looked broken. My hope was shattered. Why was I even thinking about a life, when I had no life? I walked with my eyes blurred with tears I wanted to fall on my knees and cry as louder as I could. 

I was standing in the middle of the road from where a faint headlight was coming from, with every second it grew more closer I stood there looking at the car heading towards me with speed.

Just let it end the curse of my painful life. I will never hold a grudge for ending my life. Dying will be painful yet it will be an escape for my sufferings.