Shattered into million pieces

44

I'm sorry I can't! tears started rolling from my eyes. I decided to leave as I wanted some space and air. I went to the door and Dylan grabbed me by my hand.

You like Hyugi right?

What? I looked at him though it was true but I had no words how to explain him.

'You do!' He grabbed me by both his hands on my side arms.

"You are hurting me!"

"If you are not going to be mine then I won't let you have him too."

He pushed me to his bed. "W-what are you doing Dylan." My heart started beating out of fear.

He started ripping my clothes. Stop! please! you can't do this to me I beg you! please let go of me.

He tightened his grip on my both hands.

Cry, or yell. No one will hear you.

How can I be so powerless? Why I can't even push him? This can't be happening.

I struggled with the last bit of energy in me. And then my body stopped moving itself. It was the moment I realized no one can save me. Was this my punishment of breaking a heart?

S-stop!!!!! Tears started rolling from my face. I looked on the floor where my rip clothes were lying like the lump of soil.

I begged him as if I had no selfesteem. But I was still getting raped.

 My mind went blank and my heart ripped along with my clothes. Who was I? A crumbled piece of paper, toyed. Sometimes turned into an airplane that is meant to be crashed. I never had the chance to be a Nabi (Butterfly) My colors were gone. So does the happiness in my life.

I lied there on the bed as if my soul has left my body and I'm just a piece of meat. My body was shivering. I yelled in pain till my eyes went dark.

I woke up after many hours. I stood up and walked towards the mirror I saw "The me" The me who was covered with blue scars and scratches on her body. The one who had blue spots on the corner of her lips. I was the one who just died on the bed. Though I was moving I felt my body was still on the bed. I was scared of my reflection. I had the fear crawling in me.

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I yelled falling on my knees crying harder, my heart was not in my chest anymore.

Why d-did you do this to me!! you said you love me! How could you be a human when you are a beast. I cried as I gathered myself and covered myself.  I walked out of the terror.

 "I will never forgive you." I wiped my tears.

I don't know who I was talking to when the house was empty.

I walked to my house barefoot. Till my feet started leaving blood traces.

As he said *Physical pain doesn't hurts at all, when you can't feel anything in your heart.*

I went inside my house but there was no one to ask. "How are you doing?"

Empty doll house, pretty but useless. I went to my bed straight. Tears started rolling down on my pillow I cried hours and hours. My pillow was soaked. I clenched the other pillow that I hugged tightly. Because what I needed the most was a hug and someone to pat my head and tell me "Everything is going to be alright."

Whats more painful than the silent tears that fell without any feelings? And the next thing you know is the salty drop rolling down your face. I cried endlessly because my heart was on the verge of breaking. I was like the tiny pieces of glass that can't be reshaped. I cried till my eyes had no more tears to cry.

Slut! SLUT! Sslut!

Irene: I thought we were friends but someone as disgusting as you can never be my friend.

Multiple people laughing faintly.

"You are a shame to Sopa!"

"I can't believe I was a fan of someone as cheap as you"

Disgusting!

You are so disgusting that I don't even want to spit on you!

"Just get lost"

'Hyugi are you going to turn you back on me too?' I said standing in the dark.

Hyugi! Don't turn your back on me. No- No! I screamed.

'Even my dreams are painful. My heart was like a burned kebab I wish I could just rip my heart out.'

'I woke up with sweat on my body. I walked down to Hyugi's home. I stood there silently till the sun came up.'

I came here with hope. If you will turn your back on me than I really have no reason to stay here anymore.

I turned my back to walk back home.

"What are you doing here?" Hyugi came out.

Hyu-!

'Shutup! and go away I don't want to hear your voice.'

Once again I was pushed back.

It doesn't matters, Who am I? I don't have an existence. It's okay it doesn't hurts anymore. I'm happy I don't feel a thing. I smiled while my eyes yelling for help.

I went to school. But eyes from everywhere were looking at me. Their rays were piercing me in and out. I flinched my skirt.

I-I haven't done anything s-stop looking at me like this!

Everyone looked like dark shadows, I was delusional. I was day-dreaming though I was wide awake.

It was our dance class. I was turned into a laughing stock. Was it I forgot how to dance? Everything in me died along with the desire of becoming an idol.

I ran back home like a coward. I wan't to disappear like the wind.

"I thought I would be a butterfly just like my name. My colors weren't that bright, but I wanted to shine in the only life of few days I had. I was naive I thought dreams come true. I was out in the wild. I was scared that my life will not be worth it. I was always dragged down. But I always stood up. But now I don't have the strength to fight anyone."

Hyugi by the time you will receive this email I would be gone by then. I want you to know. It was true when you said I like you. I don't know when did that happened but it happened. You made me experience emotions I thought never existed. Terrace was an excuse to see you. You don't know how I felt when you chose me to open up your heart to. You were pure and beautiful inside out. It hurts that you had to go through so much pain. You were my real friend who cared for me. I'm sorry my family caused you pain. And its okay you are talking it out on me. But know that I have forgiven you. Don't think of me because I won't be back in your lives again. One day I'll see you on TV and cheer for you. Because you are a star born to shine brightly among stars. When I will miss you I will look up the night sky and think you are doing well. 
"Yin Nabi"

"Goodbye Hyugi!"