THE DEAD ZONE | COMPLETED

One Hundred Five |

One Hundred Five |

            True to his words, a few days later I found myself wandering into the large church. As I did, I instantly paused, the dim lighting mixed with the scent of old ink, dust and the faint smell of roses hitting my nose. For a moment, I closed my eyes, the familiar scent of roses it reminded me of Alana. Emotions lumped together in my throat and I held back tears, rage filling me. My fingers curled, the vow to kill Oden on my tongue. If he was alive, I'd find him, and I'd kill him for what he'd done. It wasn't fair, it wasn't—

            "Mira?"

            My eyes opened, in front of me stood Father Antonio, a warm smile on his lips.

            "Hi," I coughed, willing my anger to go away, "I'm here for the confession thingy."

            His smile widened, amusement circling in his eyes, "Come with me."

            I did, my eyes flickering across the large stained glass windows, pictures of bible stories depicted on each one. My dad once told me about the bible, but we weren't followers of that faith so I didn't know much about those stories. I wondered sometimes, if god did exist, why did he allow his so called beloved children to suffer? Or maybe, it was a punishment due to our greed for knowledge.

            "Mira," Father Antonio said warmly, "Come take a seat, let's talk."

            I eyed the small room he motioned to before I stepped inside. The door shut behind me, but against the wall was a screen. I awkwardly sat on the wooden chair before I noticed him step into the other side and sit down in his own chair.

            "How does this work?" I asked slowly.

            He chuckled, "Usually, you'll say something along the lines 'bless me father for I have sinned' but it has been well over ten years since anyone has said that to me. Instead, why don't you tell me about your journey?"

            I blinked, "My journey?"

            "That's right," he nodded patiently, "In this new world there is a lot one could be sinful for, and yet it truly isn't my place to judge such actions. It is only for God to judge, so use me as a person to talk to, I am the servant of god. What would you tell God?"

            What would I tell God? I could almost laugh. I wouldn't tell God anything, I would scream at him. Fine, we were greedy but that was only to discover the unknown. Why leave a child a fucking sandbox then tell him not to play in it? Freewill my ass. He could have made all the world with only good, that would still mean freewill just without evil.

            "Child," Father Antonio said softly, no doubt sensing my anger, "Do you know about the story of Lazarus?" I shook my head and he continued, "He was a follower of God and of Jesus. To prove his faith, he allowed his physical body to well, what we know as die, then Jesus brought him back to this life."

            My brow arched, "So Jesus made the first zombie?"

            He winced at my words, "Jesus was the first to hold the knowledge of bringing what has passed back. I believe we are on the track as humanity, to discovering what Jesus knew. I think Jesus was not a man of magic, but a man of knowledge. As God's blood, he also had the full knowledge of death. There was a connection between the control of life fully and death. Perhaps this is why our anti-virus-cure-all changed you, and the world."

            I rolled my eyes, annoyed, "No offense, but I don't want your god spiel. I just want to get this over with to marry Sebastian and find my happily ever after."

            "Alright," he nodded, "I understand that. The message of god is hard to hear when there is so many distractions. Alright, tell me about any guilt you hold."

            Guilt. Like the guilt of having to leave my father behind to be ripped apart? Or maybe how I killed Landon if front of Caren who lost her sanity after that. Then there's Nicole who I murdered just because she followed Oden. Did he want to hear about that time I let a zombie live and it ended up killing Cerci? Oh god, Cerci. Hot tears filled my eyes and I hated myself. I hated that this world had turned me into a monster, one that still thrived with humanity and things like emotions. A soft sigh left my lips and I turned my face away from the mesh screen. Towards the ceiling, a grey and yellow moth fluttered against the light.

            "I'm guilty about many things," I said slowly, "But I know there's no time to stop and slow down. Life will go on as it is, and that's my burden to carry."

            "Alone?"

            "What?" I breathed, confused.

            He tilted his head, "This burden you speak of. Do you intend to carry it alone or will you share that guilt with your future husband?"

            "I-I still don't understand," I replied, "I don't intend to share it with Sebastian, no."

            He was silent for a moment, his eyes watching me carefully. As he stared at me I knew what I said was the wrong answer but I couldn't understand why. Why was wrong with what I had said? I frowned slightly, looking back towards the moth.

            "I know you do love him," he then said, "And you're in love with him. But I don't think you're ready to marry him," my head snapped back to him, my eyes wide, "But I know you already knew this. I think this marriage is a ploy for something but nothing with bad intent. I see god's love in you my dear, I see you as Lazarus made by humans but blessed by god. You are a good person, so I will give you my approval for the sham wedding."

            I sighed softly, "Thank you Father."

            He smiled slightly, "But just remember, a marriage is the vow to be tied together body, mind and soul. Your burden, when you get married, would also be his. I don't think you're ready at the moment but I know eventually, you two will share the same heart. May our Lord and God, Jesus Christ, through the grace and mercies of his love for humankind, forgive you all your transgressions. I'll send word for your friends tomorrow."

            With that, I left, a heaviness in my chest.

            What did it mean, to share a heart with someone?

            I think, I was afraid to know that answer.

Short chapter but will post longer one next week, also hey guys!
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