Walk Through Fire

You Mean That Much

Slinging her purse across the bed before doing the same to herself. Her brown eyes dance and trace the patterns of the ceiling. Her chest rises and falls through the breathing exercise. Within these last six months, it seems that all good things managed to fall apart like a domino effect. Squeezing, her eyes shot, but they immediately pop back open.

In a slipt second, all she could manage to envision was him. Him and their times together. Him and what she would give to have him with her right now. Since that fateful blackout last night, all she could see was him. Not only could she see him, but she felt him.

Olivia searched her closet and spotted the memory box. Sitting criss-cross, Liv weaved through the box, holding the cherished memories. A glimmering smile appeared, looking at the pictures from their first date, prom, and other special moments. Things were much simpler then.

"Knock, knock." Olivia's head snapped, spotting Layla in her view. "Mind if I come in?" Layla walked closer to the bed. She spotted the pictures. Her eyes immediately became sad for Olivia.

"Yeah. Just going through some things." Placing the pictures back into the box.

Layla sits on the bed, gathering her thoughts. "Liv, I'm sorry about last night. I didn't know that Spencer would follow me into the house. And-"

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I know it had to be awkward for Spencer to see you and Noah together. Same for you."

"Yeah, awkward." Twirling around her fingers, shaking off the emotions whirling around.

"I'm taking it as there isn't going to be another date with Noah." Liv shook her head from side to side. "That bad of a date?"

"The first part of the date was significant. Talking, laughing, and connecting, I could say the least. Then the power goes out, and I see Spencer in the hallway mirror." If looks could kill, then Liv would definitely be dead. Layla tumbled over, snickering. "It's not funny."

"You saw Spencer in the mirror? Okay, Liv." Layla giggles.

"I know it sounds crazy, but I did. For the rest of the night, my mind would drift back to Spencer. Blocking everything that Noah was saying. Then when he mentioned something about watching a movie, I froze. Watching movies together was my and Spencer's thing. It seemed like I would be cheating if I watched a movie with Noah. That sounds crazy. I know."

"It's not crazy. You're valid in how you're feeling. At least you can say you tried."

"That's the thing. Was I really trying or attempting to move on because I felt like that was what I was supposed to do? Or what everyone expected me to do? I don't think I will ever be able to move on from Spencer."

Moving on. Those two little words are more complex to disgust. Disgust in the mind, heart, and mouth. Working on the article became a blockage and distraction from facing the breakup head-on.

"You love him," Layla spoke in a whisper. "You're in love with him." Giving Liv's hand a comforting squeeze. "And that's okay. It doesn't go away overnight. It takes time."

"Same thing, my mom said. She said I should fight for him."

"I agree. You should. Liv, I admire many qualities about you, but I genuinely admire your selflessness. You are always putting others before yourself and looking out for everyone. Don't let this time be like last time. Be selfish for once. It's okay."

"But this isn't like last time."

"How so? Because from where I'm standing, you're protecting others' feelings instead of pursuing happiness. Didn't you do that last time?"