Haylee sat in the hospital cafeteria leaning into Jonah. It was a relief that Lex was awake. She was currently talking to the psychologists about her anxiety and depression. No one was allowed in there while that conversation took place.
"How did you feel when you first had an anxiety attack?" Jonah asked softly.
"It felt like the world was closing in on me. I felt claustrophobic. It was like I was being pushed at from all sides. I couldn't breath. The weight of all the expectations. There was always a lot of pressure to do something great because Dillon was doing great things. I felt like a failure because I wasn't going to do anything amazing with ballet. It was like I was a waste and a let down," Haylee explained, remembering her first anxiety attack like it was yesterday.
Jonah nodded and kissed her cheek, "were you at home?"
"No. I was at school. Dillon was talking to the whole school about his success with the Rapids. You know, being a homegrown player is a big deal. There was a massive ceremony for him. A lot to live up to. All this fear built up in me. I was just starting high school which was already a big transition. I struggled with it all of high school. I was depressed too, but I'm a damn good actress, so it wasn't visible."
"When did you finally deal with it?"
"While I was in college. We had free access to therapists. It still wasn't enough though, so I dropped out. And just started working. It was a lot better for me that way. I got on meds and started seeing a therapist who gave me tips to try and help with it. Maybe we should offer for Lex to stay with us for a while. She would have support from people who love her, but the house is also big enough that she wouldn't be smothered. We have a pool and dogs," Haylee looked up at Jonah.
"I think that's a great idea. I'll go talk to Mom and Dad now," Jonah kissed her forehead and walked out of the cafeteria to find his parents.
Haylee stood up and grabbed her water. She went over to the lounge area and plopped down next to Mike. He still hasn't slept since he brought Lex to the hospital. She laid a hand on his arm and smiled warmly at him.
"Hey."
"Hey," he echoed back, "how are you feeling?"
"I'm okay. I've missed you," she leaned her head against his arm.
"I've missed you too. It's quiet around the stadium without you," he smirked.
"Shut up, asshole," she laughed.
"Nah but being serious. We all seriously miss you. But you look like you're having fun out here," Mike gave her a kind but tired smile.
"Thank you. I am. San Fran was a really really great move for me," she agreed.
"What about soccer in London?"
"I don't know if that's the dream anymore. I love where I am, and I can see a future here with Jonah. I'm sure we could figure something out if I did want to go to London, but I love basketball."
"Basketball is way better than soccer," Mike grinned.
"Yeah. I agree. I also just needed to get out of Colorado. I needed a change of scenery."
"Those ocean views are pretty nice," Mike looked out the window.
"For sure. How much longer do you have off? I know the Nugs are understanding, but they probably don't want to be without a star player for too long," Haylee looked down at her hands.
"I'm sure they do want me back soon, but I won't leave until I know that Lex is okay. I never stopped loving her."
"It shows."
"What about you? When do the Warriors need you back?"
"Alison can step in. Jo and I are offering for Lex to stay with us."
"That'd be good for her, assuming she and Jonah don't tear each other to pieces," Mike smirked at her.
"They won't. They love each other a lot. I think it'd be nice for her. She's have people who love and support her with room to be alone. The house is huge. We have a game room, a home theatre, a pool, an outdoor living area-"
"Why have I never been invited over?" Mike raised an eyebrow.
"Uhm I offered for you to go to our house and get some sleep and you said no," Haylee narrowed her eyes.
"I meant before this! Where was my invitation?"
"Up your ass," she smirked.
"Same old Hayls. You okay? You look a little pale."
"I was throwing up earlier. I think probably all this stress."
"I know the feeling. Thanks for not kicking me out of here," Mike squeezed her hand.
"We know how much you love Lex. We wouldn't do that to you. That'd be mean."
"Well I appreciate it."
"Of course. You gave me my Lex back once. Hopefully you can do it again," Haylee smiled at him before getting up when she saw Jonah, Millie, and Fernando.
