Choose Me- the second novel

Chapter 8- earnestly

We head out. I go and get changed and put my gym stuff in a locker for tomorrow when I can actually get in the gym.
He waits for me outside. Why does this feel different? I walk around with Ross all the time and I don't normally feel like I'm doing anything wrong, now I'm worried about it.

We attempt to walk out as normally as possible, we're both heading for the car park.
"What are you doing later then?" I ask as an attempt at normal conversation.
"I'm heading to Ryan's actually. There's a..." he starts.
"A party I'm guessing" I say and laugh.
"Yeah a party."
"I'll see you tomorrow" I say. I walk ahead of him, how fucking weird is this. I'm currently wondering if he will be fucking her tonight, why do I care? I'm going home with Matty.

I open up the car with my spare key. Matty will be along soon. I don't feel like seeing anybody else at all today. Apart from him. A couple of seconds later Ross gets on his bike which is parked next to us. He smiles at me, tells me he'll see me tomorrow. And then he's off.

The second he's gone I'm thinking about what I'm going to tell Matty. How much do I share? The lot ? Everything Ross said. I don't want any fights, they had just started liking each other again. I'm in total denial that I just basically told Ross I love him whilst I'm totally spoken for.
Fucking Jay opening this whole can of worms. I have to admit though I wouldn't have found out any other way.

I'm standing facing the passenger door deep in thought when I feel something brush my back. 
I turn around ready to pull Matty into me and hug him.
"Fancy seeing you here" Jay says and I sigh.
How many more gorgeous blonde guys is the world going to chuck at me today.

I turn around. Slowly.
"Yes what's more strange is that you're also standing by my man's car" I say to him.
He smiles, he loves a challenge.
"Are you okay? You seem more pissed than usual, bloody hell" he says laughing.
"Something I said ?" He snorts, knowing full well it is exactly what he said that has put me in a bad mood.
I just glare at him. He's too close to me, way too close. And I'm up against the door. I want to hit him. So much.
Before I know it I lift my hands and barge his shoulders back, he's not shocked at all. And he doesn't budge. He just holds still. It makes me feel even worse. Insignificant.
"Want me to fuck off just tell me, you don't have to touch me" he says hands in the air taking a step back.

I ignore him. I don't want to talk to him.
"I don't want to talk to you anymore okay?" I say feeling like a three year old whose had a falling out.
He looks shocked. How can he be shocked? Does he not realise he is a twat.
"Don't look shocked. Seriously, you fucking love winding me up. I'll expect you go right back to Jen telling her how much you got to me today, how much you pissed me off. You can go and tell her that you told me all about her and Ross and how I nearly cried, poor stupid Taylor. So leave me the fuck alone I have had enough of everybody today" I say and I'm going to cry. Where the hell is Matty?

I turn around and cry. I dump my stuff in the car.
"Taylor I'm ugh sorry" he says softly.
I will not turn around and face him I just ignore him.
"I mean it, I'm sorry. I don't talk shit to Jen, okay? I didn't mean to upset you. Im just a dickhead" he admits.

I pinch my nose. And try to stop the crying. I think it's most likely a build up from earlier too and this just made it worse.
He taps my shoulder lightly and moves me to face him. I wipe my face.
"All's you've ever done is laugh at me and instigate arguments with me. Do not act like you care about me" I tell him and look away.
"I'm sorry." He says and he looks completely different wearing an earnest expression.

"What the" I hear Matty coming over and I see his recognition that I am crying.
He grabs Jay straight away, Jay raises his hands in surrender.
"I'm sorry man I was just, look I didn't put a hand on her" he says.
"Matty just stop it" I tell him and I'm crying. I get in the car. He will leave him alone I know he will besides if I stand out there shouting at him he won't leave Jay alone. And I can't be here anymore.
Matty pushes him away.
He gets in the car and exhales. He rolls a cigarette whilst steadying his breath and lights up.
He opens his bag and pulls out a sandwich that he bought me, and a chocolate cookie. He hands it to me wordlessly.

This is not how I wanted this to go I wanted nothing more than to hug him and kiss him and now he is too pissed off to even speak to me.
I open up the sandwich realising how hungry I am.
He glances over at me. He looks slightly more calm.
"Are you okay ? What happened ?" He asks me
"It's a long story, he was just winding me up and I've had enough of today can we just go home please. I just want to be home with you" I tell him.

He starts up the car and drives home. He glances out of the windscreen, smoking his cigarette. He's thinking about it all I know he is. He goes quiet when he's deciding what to do. I find that side of him so sexy. I find myself not being able to wait to be with him at home, I just want everything to be normal like it was this morning.
I brush his thigh, "thanks for the food" I tell him.
He glances at me and smiles.

Once were home, I tell him I need to have a quick shower. I don't want to talk, just yet. He follows me in, I knew he would. I strip him down and once we're naked we climb in together. He turns me around and rubs my back. He moves my hair over and kisses my neck. His hands find my breasts as they always do. He circles my nipples and I'm moaning his name.
I'm still facing the other way as one of his hands traces down and rests between my legs. He pulls me in close so I'm resting on him. He plays with me. In the best way.
"Come for me baby" he whispers.
I do and he turns me around and kisses me urgently and with so much passion.
"I love you" he tells me.
"I love you" I tell him and he kisses me again.