Choose Me- the second novel

Chapter 94- pity party

***Jays POV***

She should be sitting with me. One day, I tell myself.
She's changed the way she looks at me. She stares a little bit longer and when she smiles it's genuine.  She admitted to Matty that we kissed. He must be so angry at me. He's concealing it well.

I don't really watch the scary movie I just watch her for most of the time.
Her hair flowing down her back, in her fitted dress. I want to unzip it and take it off for her. Kissing her neck as I do.

"Jay I need to get past" Rach announces.
I stand up so she can move past me. Hopefully she's not going to throw up.
"Fucks sake" Brad follows her sighing.

I laugh. Better him than me.
I move up to sit next to Ross who is on the other side of Tay. Well he is boyfriend number two after all.
I glance up at the film realising we must be at least half way through. I like films and usually I watch them avidly but when she's in the room like with anything else I cannot focus.

Before I know it the credits are rolling.
Brad and Rach still haven't come back and I assume that they will be going straight home. I drank two brandy's but I'm fine to drive.

I meet the others in the foyer.
"See you guys" I say. Suddenly realising I'm surrounded by couples. Ross follows suit and walks out with me.

"Jay wanna share a cab?" Ross asks when we go outside.

"I can do better I'll give you a ride" I say.

"Thanks man, I thought we'd all be drinking more" he laughs.

He's such a nice guy. If he didn't like her too we would be great friends. He is so in love with her though. He's put himself in a stupid position though, he lets her have him entirely whilst having Matty at the same time. And that is why she is still seeing Matty and hasn't moved onto him.

We walk to my car, I love my car. It's sleek and black. I drive Ross home wishing she were next to me. I'm so jealous of Matty he's had her for like, over a year now. I think she said once at a party when Jen was laying into her that Matty's the first person she's ever been with sexually.

What's he got? I try and work it out all of the time. The only thing I come up with is that he adores her clearly, he shows her he loves her all of the time. But how can I possibly do that ? She won't let me.

I know how she sees me. And to be fair I haven't until now given her any reason to think that I'm the kind of guy to have a relationship with. I've hurt two girls in front of her, by breaking up with them and messing them around. That's not a good impression to make.

Ross gets out of the car, invites me in for a spliff and I accept.
"You can stay man if you like, and don't wanna drive high" he says.

What a dude.
"Thanks man" I say.
I park up in his drive and we head inside.

Look at us the pity party of guys that want to be with Taylor but can't.

***Taylor's POV***

I decide that when we get home I need to make things up to Matty as soon as possible. Plus I'm kind of drunk. I can't have sex with him, that's off the cards plus I have a feeling that right now sex would hurt.

Once we're back He follows me upstairs and slaps my ass, laughing at my drunkenness. Whilst he's undressing I watch him smiling. He enjoys it, he loves the attention. Now he's naked I pull him over to me and kiss him.
"Mm Taylor. Two weeks" he begins.

"Shhh" I tell him stroking his hair between my fingers.
I kiss down his body and he sighs.
"Ohh" he smiles realising.

I take him in my mouth fully and he gasps.
"Fuck Tay" he says.

I suck him my hands going around his hips. I pull him into me and he moans.
I pull away slightly my hands touching his balls.

"I'm sorry Matty, for earlier. forgive me?" I tell him.

He strokes my hair back with his fingertips. He traces down to my lips. And the weirdest, most annoying thing happens. I think of Jay, but only because he always touches my lips and I associate the gesture with him. It's a shock. I try not to look alarmed and continue sucking on him. I just want to make him come now so that I can lay in bed with him and things can be normal again.

"Babe I'm close" he warns me. I keep him in my mouth.

When we're done I brush my teeth and take all of my makeup off.

I join him in bed, I can't even sleep naked at the moment and I miss his skin on mine as if he's reading my mind, he puts his hands under my top.

"What do you have to be sorry about Taylor" he asks.

"You know what, causing you stress and worry" I say back to him and I kiss him sweetly.

"Taylor you're not the problem." He says. He means that Jay is the problem in the scenario. I'm not so sure that still holds true.

"I love you, we can get through this babe, all of it" I tell him.

He strokes my hair pulling me close to him.
"I love you." He says.
"How are you feeling?" He says and I know he means my tummy.

"Okay the Prosecco stemmed the pain" I laugh.
He laughs with me and just holds me close.

"I can't wait to see your exhibition tomorrow" I say to him

"I can't wait until you see your picture" he says.

"Me too" I say smiling.

He strokes me and massages my back and before I know it I'm asleep in his arms.