Choose Me- the second novel

Chapter 59- End of forever

***Jays POV***

"When I was with her, everything she would do I used to think Taylor wouldn't do that. Or she'd say something and I'd catch myself thinking about what you would say with your smart mouth" I look at her in her eyes.

This is important, she's deciding and she's pushing me away. I know it. I try to extend my hand to hers. I need this chance. If I don't get it then that's it.
She laces her fingers in mine. Her hands are soft and small and I love them instantly because they are hers.

"I'm a dickhead, I know that why would you give me a chance at all? Right. I haven't experienced this before. I'm not Ross okay I don't fall for girls. But I don't stop thinking about you at all ever. You take up my head space most of the time. When I sleep I dream about you Taylor" I say.
"That's nuts. But it is something I need to do something about. I need to just know either way if you want to entertain giving me a chance or if you just want to leave it be" I add.

Said my piece, now though I need to let her decide either way. I hold onto her hand. And I lightly brush it with my thumb. She's looking at the floor. I count in my head, otherwise I will interrupt and start speaking and she will push me out. I go past ten, past fifteen.

I'm nearly at twenty when she looks up.
"Jay" she begins. And it's over I can tell from her voice. From the way she looks at me smiling already trying to reassure me.
"I care about you" she says. Not that, anything but that.

"Please don't tell me" I say quickly changing tact. If she says it to me it's done. End of forever.

I swiftly close the gap in between us and daringly I kiss her. I put everything into it. Letting go of her hand and putting my arms around her waist. She gasps with the intensity of my kiss.
"Mmm fuck" I say before I can stop myself.
She leans back slightly and lets me lean into her. I'm lost to her completely.

Somebody comes into the gym, I glance up at him it's some guy I've never seen before and I curse him. She pulls away from me. Embarrassed. She looks down at her legs and smiles going red.
"You never let me speak" she laughs.
"No because you will talk yourself out of everything" I laugh looking at her.

I stand up. I have all that I need really. I want to touch her and hold her and kiss her again but I need to wait. She stands and follows me out. I reach my hand behind to her and she grasps it with her small delicate fingers. I smile.

I leave her to change back into her pink shirt and mini skirt that she looked so beautiful in earlier. I change my shirt and put my jeans back on. I come out of the changing room and wait.
She appears minutes later, hair down and her cheeks flushed red. I smile at her and start walking. She walks in step with me.
"Oh wait I just need to check in with my dance teacher" she says walking into the studio. I wait in the doorway.

"Taylor! How are you" her teacher asks looking up from her desk

"I'm feeling better, I just wanted to check in on what I've missed?" She asks.

"Well I'm happy to tell you that you have the main part in our half term dance showcase, so thanks for dropping by. You have a ballet routine, contemporary solo and also a burlesque number" she laughs.

I know what that means and I will be there.

"So tomorrow, pointe shoes and tights" her dance teacher instructs.

"Okay see you then and thank you" she says smiling and leaves with me.

I walk out with her smirking.
"What now. I can literally hear your thoughts without you speaking them and I know you're laughing at me" she says and I can't help but chuckle.

"Okay I'll be at the dance show, a burlesque number, wow" I say.

"Dickhead" she laughs.

"You in tights and a leotard!? How can I miss that" I say.

"You know I'm being assessed right, on how I move not how I look" she laughs, it's adorable when she gets defensive.

"I'm kidding" I laugh.

"You're such an arse" she says a hint of a smile on her lips which she suppresses.
"I'll see you in psychology tomorrow. I'm seeing Rhea now. We have a date" she laughs.

I catch her hand as she goes to walk off.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I say turning her to face me and holding onto her hand. She can't just walk away from me. Not happening. I'm going to be more commanding of her now.

"Mhmm" she says looking into my eyes briefly. And chewing on her lower lip.

"I told you not to do that" I say smiling and glancing at her mouth.

"Sorry, it's a habit" she laughs.
I release her hand and touch her lip with my thumb. I will not kiss her again until she asks me.

"See you then" I say softly. She smiles. And then leaves me walking in the opposite direction. I look at her for a while. How can she not see how many guys glance in her direction? She's so beautiful. Her long hair swishes down her back. She's wearing her fitted leather jacket over her outfit and heeled boots that make her already toned legs look absolutely irresistible.

I turn around and walk in the opposite direction. I need to get off campus. We are friends, and just friends. She is with Matty I know that, but if she wasn't...if she wasn't this would be easier. I could take her out. I could impress her and make her see me. She definitely was going for the whole I care for you but I'm with your friend. I like you but not that much or not enough to sacrifice what I have shit. I kissed her because I can't hear that from her. There is something between us, that she is denying and maybe if I can let it play out a little longer then it might just be enough for her to consider me.
I need a new plan though. No more doting over her, look how far that has gotten Ross!

I'm off to see him now, I'll probably see her there later with Matty.