Choose Me- the second novel

Chapter 89-jerk

***Taylors POV***

Ross arrives, and really that's a very good thing. I need to distance myself from Jay and his charm. He comes across so well on his own. I let him kiss me again. I mentally note that I need to not be in his company alone.

Ross strolls over to me and I feel safe.
He hugs me.
"That smells great" he smiles.

"Yeah? Hope you enjoy it" I say.

We all sit down together, like normal friends. Friends who don't casually make out with one another.

"I brought some books, and I printed off the PowerPoints" Ross says.

I smile at him eagerly. I eat slowly, I don't want to suddenly be sick. I made everybody else's hotter and spicier than mine.
The guys eat silently and finish it all. I take that as a compliment.
"Incredible. You got any more that I can take home" Ross laughs.

"Soon I'll be making you microwave meals" I laugh.

I stand up and collect the plates. Jay takes over and loads them into the dishwasher. I laugh a little and then pour myself some more juice.
"Hey you can have some wine? If you like?" He says.

"Jay we're studying" I say.

He grabs himself a beer and laughs.
"You are not dropping me back drunk" I tell him.

"I will not be drunk" he laughs.

We all head into the open plan living room and set up on the sofas. I sit on the single chair so as not to be too close and comfy with either of the guys. I slip my shoes off and I'm glad I painted my toes. I cross my legs and Jay eyes them up and then looks away.

We get lots of studying done, and overall it's really productive. I check my phone and realise it's 8pm already. I sigh feeling tired. I sit back for a minute and rest.

Jay turns the TV on and a re-run of Saw comes on and I could tell you lots about this whole series of films.
I start watching it, occasionally telling them stuff about it.
"Yeah I'm one of those annoying people that has to comment by the way" I say.

I use the loo and realise Jay has a whole collection of products for his skin that I just want to try. When I come back in I grab my phone and text Matty.
"Home soon, love you" I message.

He messages back quickly telling me he loves me. Instantly I feel guilty. He does love me. He does not kiss other girls or so much as look at them. I'm a very bad partner. I need to change that now.

I stand up and head across the room to my bag. I pack everything into it. Jay stands up and grabs his car keys. He slips his trainers on and tells Ross he's going to drop me back. Ross nods and I presume he's going to stay there for longer. I didn't realise they were friends. Ross gets up and hugs me his arms going around me. I smile at his warmth.
"Sure I can take her" he says to Jay whilst looking at me.
"Nah I promised and I'm trying to keep them" Jay replies.
Ross kisses my forehead and then sits back down.

We head down in the elevator. Jay pushes his hair back, and I glance over at him.
"Sorry Tay, for hitting on you earlier. I just get carried away." He says quietly.

I smile.

"I want to do this shit right but I'm a dick head that does not manage to do things right ever. So yeah I'm sorry" he adds

"My fault as well, I am attracted to you. Maybe we shouldn't be alone together again" I say once we're in the car.

"I understand." He says. And I have an absurd impulse to comfort him and kiss him.

I look out of the window and count in my head.

"Stop counting and say what you're thinking" he laughs.
How does he know when I do that?

"How do you know that I am counting?" I laugh.

"Because I do it too and you go all quiet and focused" he laughs.

"I was just thinking that when I first met you, I saw you as a completely different person" I say
"And now you're just Jay" I add.

"I was a dick. I do stupid things, I'm not perfect and I play silly games. But my aim now is for the next girl that I manage to convince I'm worth a chance, I don't do stupid shit like that too. If that's you then I'd be ecstatic but if it's not then I'd be happy you didn't get stuck with a jerk like me" he says.

"Why do you think so badly of yourself" I say quietly.
"I know you're not a bad person" I add.

"Taylor don't defend me. I'm not a good person" he says focussing on the road.

"I think you are. Or that you could be" I say and I glance over at him.

He smiles at me. Looks back at the road and continues driving.
I realise we're almost home and I can't wait to see Matty.

He drops me off outside and walks me up to the door.
I unlock the house and he says hello to Matty and then leaves. I head straight upstairs and change into Matty's t shirt. I join him downstairs on the sofa. I curl up next to him laying on his chest.

"You and baby okay" he asks.

"Yes we're both fine" I say
He kisses me and I breathe in his familiar scent.

"Mmm" I say putting my arms around him. He softens and pulls me into him.
He strokes over my hips and thighs and we watch a movie before heading upstairs to sleep together.