Choose Me- the second novel

Chapter 93- suave

"The psychology exam was easy." I say to Matty laying on the sofa next to him. We're going to get ready to go out soon.

"I'm so proud of you babe" he says kissing me.

"Thank you" I smile at him.
"Can we got to the clinic Saturday?" I ask.

"Of course how are you feeling" he asks

"I've all but stopped bleeding. I feel a bit of pain in my lower tummy. I took pills at I dunno maybe 12 and I've been okay since" I say.
"I'm trying to not think about it" I add.
"How are you my love" I ask him stroking his cheek.

"I'm just worried about you. But you're coping well. I catch myself thinking about it and try to let it pass" he says.

We're quiet for a minute. I have to tell him. Jay. The kiss.
"Earlier I bumped into Jay and he ugh kissed me kind of" I say to him, best to just come out with it.
"I'm not in the right head at the moment Matty, I'm not excusing it and I did pull away but I have to tell you all the same" I say.

"Do you like Jay?" He says openly, clearly alarmed.

"As a good friend yes" I admit.

"Okay then what do you want me to say? That's okay did you enjoy yourself? I dunno what to say to that" he admits. I'm shocked by his abruptness, he has never, ever spoken like that to me.

"No I get your point I just don't feel like I instigated it and it happened but I stopped it" I say stressing.

"Okay Tay I just got kissed today by Rhea. I did stop it but yeah just so you know?!" He says slightly annoyed.
"It's not the best feeling is it?" he adds.

"No" I say quietly.

He sits up and rolls two cigarettes, he hands one to me and lights up his own. He leans backs and inhales. I dont know what to do ? I get why he's annoyed I just don't know how to remedy it.

"Taylor, he likes you a lot. He will do anything to get with you. I'm constantly paranoid and worried about it. Thinking you're going to leave me for him. Thinking he's touching you" he says.

"And now I know what he is doing, that just makes it worse." He says and he looks stressed and upset.

I rest my cigarette in the ash tray. I sit next to him and put my arms around him to comfort him. He begins sobbing. And I'm thrown.
"I don't know what to do, nothing works" he says between sobs and I rub his back.

"I love you Matty" I tell him.

"I love you too" he says resigned.

I'm not having that, I climb onto his lap facing him.

"I love you more than anything Matthew, I always have and always will. We can get through anything together" I tell him placing my hands on his jaw.

He smiles slightly and I kiss him again and wipe away his tears. He kisses me passionately his hands going through my hair.

"Kinda wish we were able to have sex" I say breathless when I pull away.

"I'll make it up to you when we can." He smiles.

We get ready to go out for dinner, I'm wearing a knitted navy dress and high heeled boots. Matty says he'll drive us as he's not going to drink, he turns me around and puts his arms around me when he sees what I'm wearing.
"I haven't see you in this before" he says

"Do you like it?" I tease him and he chews his lip

"A lot" he manages whilst his hand goes over my hips.