Choose Me- the second novel

Chapter 55- deal

***Taylor's POV***

Opening my eyes I feel really sluggish and tired. I close them again wondering if I can get away with going back to sleep.
"Taylor, are you okay?" Matty is asking.

He sounds worried and I feel like I should respond to him.
"I'm here" I tell him.
I feel his arms holding onto me and him kissing my lips.

"What's up" I ask him, forcing my eyes open.
"You're stressed" I say hugging him, oh my body feels heavy and I wince.

"You and Jay and Rach" he begins and I panic thinking he knows already.
"You smoked laced cannabis with PCP and you all tripped out. Jay had no idea. I thought you were I don't know" he says flustered.

I'm processing what he's saying to me. No more getting high for me.
"Ah that makes sense" I say.
"I need to talk to you" I add hazily.

It's time to come clean. What the hell is PCP? Maybe that's why I felt like I couldn't move and the room was spinning and like I couldn't stand up straight. It's why I felt so heavy and still. It's part and parcel why I made out with Jay. I can't blame that entirely. I'm still culpable. But I was most definitely on a trip and so was he.

"Jay ugh after the spliff," I begin flustered.
"I don't know why but I went up to the bathroom and everything was spinning. I couldn't move everything was moving around me, so I stayed there for a bit. And Jay tapped on the door." I begin. Matty stares at me intently.

"He just spoke with me, about everything. He asked if he could kiss me. And I just stood there Matty, I'm so sorry. He kissed me and he locked the door. And I'm not blaming the weed Matty, but I couldn't act quick enough, I felt like I was under water. He tried earlier to kiss me in the kitchen but I told him no and pushed him away. I hadn't smoked anything by then." I say and just wait for him to process.

He moves his hand over my face and I realise I'm crying.
"So he kissed you in the kitchen and you said no and then later he gave you a spliff which presumably he didn't know was laced? He didn't give it to Rach did he? Just you. And then you gave the spliff to Rach and he followed you" Matty says.

"I don't think he knew that it was laced why would he smoke so much of it" I say trying to work out what Matty is saying.

"Did he touch you" Matty asks, the tension in his body is making him feel rigid.

"But it's my fault too because I should have said no, I couldn't find my words and I shouldn't have told him about..." I tell him.

"Did he touch you, babe" Matty asks. He's not listening to me.

"He touched me yes, I don't remember everything Matty" I say feeling at a loss.
"He wouldn't drug me deliberately" I say defensively.

"You see where I'm coming from though right?"
"Where did he touch you?" Matty says demanding.

"Yes but before when he tried to kiss me and I pushed him off he said sorry. And that it wouldn't happen again. He said he would just stay away from me" I tell him.
"So I assume he didn't know, it was laced because he wouldn't have said any of that." I say.
"My hips and my legs I think" I add.

Matty goes quiet. I put myself in his shoes, how would I feel in his situation? I would be so annoyed, and beyond jealous. I wouldn't know what to say either really. And I might feel betrayed too.