Choose Me- the second novel

Chapter 44- just typical

***Taylor's POV***

We're all going to see Ross. Including Jay, Rach, Ryan and Pippa. I eye Jay with Rach, she is demanding something off of him and he's laughing and joking with her not getting the point. Clueless.

Matty joins me by the car, he lifts my chin so that I'm looking at him.
"Hi, you okay babe" he asks searching my eyes.
I briefly wonder whether he thinks Jay has upset me. Like before. But weirdly he hasn't. At all.

"Great" I say.
I kiss him. Long and passionately.
"You were gone forever" I protest. When I come up for air. I see him and it's like the part of me that's missing returns.

"Gross don't do that again guys" Pippa says laughing at me.

"You don't have to watch us" I laugh.

Matty dumps our bags in the car. And heads around to the drivers side.
I look at the car and have a real aversion to get in it. The smile wipes off of my face and I'm frozen. Rach, Pippa and Ryan are busy getting in their car.
Nothing is going to happen I remind myself.
I need to breathe.

Jay comes over to me from his bike, much to Matty's alarm. Rach's jaw practically drops.
"You are going to be fine, Matty is driving" he laughs.
I breathe normally again, he is right.
"Thanks Jay" I whisper.
I get in the car so as not to draw anymore attention to myself. I buckle up and stare straight through the windscreen.

Matty starts up and puts the heater on full. It's snowing again. We follow the others out. I notice Jay is driving just behind us even though he could overtake us and beat us there. I can see him in the wing mirror, at all times.

"Tell me what's going on Taylor" Matthew says.
He doesn't look at me, he doesn't sound angry or annoyed. He just wants to know.

"I don't think that's a good idea while we're driving." I say.
"What I mean is I'm trying to concentrate right now on not letting this get to me. Because of everything and I want you to know what's wrong but I can't right now" I say.

"I understand" he says.
He glances over me and smiles. He eyes Jay's sweatshirt quickly.

"I was just cold Matty" I tell him.

He looks at me briefly.
"I know I know. I do wonder though about why you're cold and I'm just worried, like maybe it's best to have a checkup? We could even do it in the hospital if you like after Ross if you're up to it, babe. Or we can book an appointment for tomorrow?" He says.

"But it's cold, it's snowing." I say childishly.

"Taylor I'm just worried okay, if you don't want to that is fine too" he says.

"I know babe, I'll think about it. Maybe you're right" I say.

When we arrive Matty parks up and Jay parks next to us. Ryan parks on the other side. We wait for them to join us.
"Hey ugh do you want your jumper back? Here" I say pulling it off and giving it to him.
It's dark now and it's snowing. I don't want him to get ill.

I pull my lightweight jumper over me. And pout. I did like how warm it was. I'm not going to lie. But it was clearly getting to Matty. I put myself in his shoes and think about how I would feel in this situation.

Jay smirks.
"Mmm okay well let me know if you feel cold again" he chuckles.
He lights up a cigarette. I want one.
Matty lights up and passes me one. As if he's reading my mind.

Rach walks over to us first and she's on Jay straight away. I smile at her, she asks him for a cigarette and he obliges. Looking at me. Stop looking at me Jay, look at her. She is into you. He takes a pull on his cigarette eyeing my carefully. I look over at him, real quickly and he meets my eyes smiling.

After we finish smoking we head into the hospital all together half expecting to be turned away being such a large group.
We head up to Ross' room. There's a maximum four visitor rule at any given time. As we saw Ross yesterday, I suggested they go in and see him before us. Rach barges in with them. I sit down on one of the chairs in the corridor. Jay stands against the wall next to us and Matty sits with me.

I rest my head on Matty's shoulder.
"I love how they came here bringing him gifts and we came here with lecture notes" I laugh.

"Yes but you saved his life, that counts more than any gift" Matty says.

"I shouldn't have let him on the bike in the first place" I say.

I close my eyes for a bit, I don't want to think about it anymore. At all. I want him to be better, and I want to not have it etched into my mind when I close my eyes.

I start to cry. I don't know why. It's like i've finally stopped and now I'm processing it all.

"Hey it's okay" Matty says.
"Im here. This is not your fault" he tells me.

I smile.
"That's not it though I just keep seeing his face, all blue in my mind. And feeling his cold hands" I say.

"Ross' face? that's enough to make any girl cry" Jay laughs smiling at me.
I snort. His timing is so funny.

"Ohh shhh you" I laugh.

Jay smirks as Rach opens the door.
"Right are you giving me a lift on that bike" she asks him.

"I haven't even seen Ross yet" he laughs.

He walks past her and heads into the room.

"Just typical" she says.
"I'll be down in the foyer" she calls over her shoulder loudly.

I hug them before they go downstairs to get some food and presumably wait for Jay.