Choose Me- the second novel

Chapter 68- sincere bone in his body

"We're collecting Ross on the way" Matty says smiling at me.

"Awesome" I say. I'm so glad they've been talking to each other again. It feels like stuff is clicking into place for everybody.

When we pull up to Ross' Matty laughs and suggests I wait in the car. Being dressed as what Ross' neighbours could only imagine as a stripper gram I decide he's got a point. I hold my bunny ears in my hand and wait for them to return.

Ross gets in the back and I turn to smile at him.
"Wow Tay" he clears his throat.

"A bunny right ?" He says keeping his eyes on my face. He eyes the black bunny ears in my hand and chuckles.

"Yea me and Rach are coordinating" I say laughing.

"I see you guys are dressed as... ugh yourselves?" I tease.

They laugh.
"Guys don't do dress up right, Matty?" Ross laughs.

We arrive and I walk up to the house with Matty on one side and Ross on my other. I laugh at how wrong this looks but decide I don't care anymore. Ryan let's us in and I assume he's seen Rach already as he laughs and says ohhh another bunny.

We walk in I know this house by now. I instantly clock annoying blonde media girl that knows Matty's name. I tell myself to calm down, I'm literally having his babies. No need for jealousy. She eyes me, and looks away. She's just dressed normally. Either that or her costume is the hooker.

I head to the kitchen after sitting Ross down and telling him I'll get him a virgin cocktail. That's also what I'll be having. Me and Matty enter the kitchen together. He starts mixing up the virgin cocktails and I smile at him. His shirt is slightly undone and I'm admiring the view. Brad and Rach come in for more drinks. Rach hugs me and asks Brad to take our picture as we are matching. He obliges and she's happy with the pictures.
"Dancing later, my fellow bunny" she laughs.

"Sure" I say laughing at her drunkenness.

"Stiffy is here somewhere" Brad says
"He said he has his guitar if you wanna jam" Brad adds.

"Oh I'd love that" I tell him smiling.

When they leave I turn to Matty.
"No truth or dare?" I say to him.

"Definitely not" he says pulling me into him and fixing my bunny ears so that they are straight.

He kisses me and the music comes on, Ryan's got good taste in music and I smile.
"You don't even need alcohol to dance" he laughs.
We take the drinks in the other room. My mock-tail tastes delicious. I smile up at Matty.

I hand Ross his and instantly I can feel Jays' stare. I don't look at him. 
"There's non-alcoholic beer too" I tell him brushing his arm.
"Next maybe?" I ask him and he laughs.

"This is nice thank you" he says. Sipping his drink.

"It's pretty fruity" I laugh.

Matty is having a brandy, just one I made it for him. I deliberately let him sit with Ross. And I'm on the end. Now at least I don't feel like I'm coming in between them.

I glance up finally at everybody, I mean Jay. Who is currently watching me as if I hold the key to life. I blush under his stare and he looks away. Plain Jane isn't dressed up, she's just wearing a simple white dress which actually washes her out. She's on his knee. What a surprise. His arms are around her hips. He kisses her occasionally and she smiles at him.

This is going to be long without the alcohol to make the time fly quicker.
"Babe I promise I just need to check my makeup I'll be right back" I tell Matty he's not sober anymore and he smiles at me.

I intend on finding Stiffy. Or his guitar.
I take my shoes off and head up the stairs shoes in my hands. I touch up my makeup with the lipstick in my purse. I spray myself again. Then I head out, I do find Stiffy but he's with a girl. I laugh and take his guitar he gives me a thumbs up.

I set off down stairs concentrating on taking the guitar down with me and holding my shoes. I spot Jay at the end of the stairs. He's heading up. I resolutely concentrate on the steps, and only the steps. I can see plain Jane with him and I avert my eyes. He eyes me and my current luggage.

"Want some help Taylor" he asks slyly.

"No" I say looking down and concentrating on just getting down the stairs.

"What's her problem?" I hear plain Jane ask.

I ignore her. I place my shoes down at the bottom of the stairs and step back into them. I put the guitar strap over my body and laugh at myself for not doing that before.
"Did you know it's rude to talk about people in their presence to other people and not directly to them" I say and I know what I mean okay?
"You know my name" I laugh.

"Are you okay?" Jay asks me.

"Why are you still standing there" I say to him.
I laugh. Jane is bemused.
I am sure Jane will not end up being my friend. She's not crazy enough for our group.

He walks over to me and I flinch, I should have just kept walking.
"Jane give us a minute babe" he says eyeing me.
She walks upstairs and I roll my eyes.

"What's up?" He asks.

"You're a stupid idiot Jay" I tell him.
He smiles.

"Why? Am I the idiot? You broke it off with me" He says.

"Oh don't get bitter, we weren't even a thing" I say mocking him.

"We weren't though right? You thought we were going to be what?" He says smiling.

"Oh fuck off" I say. And begin walking away from him. He touches my hand and holds onto it.

"Don't touch me, go up there to Jane" I say laughing.
"Jay and Jane" I laugh. Finding myself funny.

He looks at me and laughs a little.

I pull my hand away from him. Look down at Stiffy's guitar and decide that's enough talking to Jay in the corridor.

"I gave you the options you didn't want any of them" he says eyeing my legs and then pulling his eyes away from me.

"For weeks I told you that you could have anything. You could have literally had me by now and moved on, or you could have I dunno converted me into the third member of Tay's boyfriends gang" he laughs.
"Like that was going to happen" he laughs at me.

I push him. I don't know what possesses me. He's shocked. I full on just shoved him and it didn't do anything but shock him. He didn't even move. It's like he just absorbed my hit.
"You're unbelievable. I don't want to talk to you anymore ever again" I say and my anger is strong. I'm convinced my hormones are contributing to that.

"Yes you do" he says slightly taken aback.

"No I don't, I'm done. We're not friends" I say to him.

"I'm sorry" he says.

"I don't care" I tell him. I cry a little and wipe my eyes straight away.

He just stands there looking at me shocked.

"Fuck you" I tell him and once I've wiped my face I walk off.

I'm not sure why I'm so angry with him. It's like everything is so heightened for me at the moment. I did think he was my friend. I genuinely did. But he's not a friend at all. He's a stupid asshole. Just like Rach said. He's a complete liar, he makes a complete show of his feelings because he doesn't have a real sincere bone in his body.

I think of him comforting me after Ross' accident and I feel sick. I hate him. I hate myself for being so naive and thinking he was going to be my friend.
He doesn't follow me and I don't glance back to see if he's still there.