Choose Me- the second novel

Chapter 95- more

The next day at uni goes quick I make sure I'm not alone with Jay. He's been on my mind enough as it is. I record for Stiffy, he's pleased with my singing and that we only needed to do two takes.

I head into psychology after, everyone's more relaxed because the test is finished and it's almost Christmas break.

I walk over to them and they're actually talking to one another. Like friends would. They don't do that. Ever. I sit down quietly and smile. It's nice.

"Hey" I say sweetly
Ross touches my hand briefly and smiles back at me.
"You're in a great mood" he says.

"So are you two" I laugh.
"Good idea last night by the way" I turn to Jay. I try not to look at him most of the time because when I do I end up staring. He watches my expression reading what I'm thinking. He smiles and looks away happy with his findings.

I need to talk to Rhea about all of this. I'm in trouble. I spend most of the lecture trying to work out what this all means, thinking of Jay. My relationship with Matty. I can't find any solutions just more problems.

The lecture ends and I look up.
"Are you guys coming later" I ask openly.

"Yes there's free champagne" Ross laughs.

"Maybe" Jay says.

"Okay cool it's at half 8 it's a gallery on broad street" I say.

"See you then I've gotta go talk to my English lecturer" Ross says. He puts his arms around me and kisses my cheek.

"What've you got now" I ask.

"I'm free" Jay says. So much for not being alone with him.

I smile and he walks me out.
We just start walking he hands me a cigarette and we end up in the cafe.
He gets a black coffee and asks me what I want. We go upstairs where it's empty. The fires are on and I choose to sit near one on the sofa. I put my bag down on the floor.
He sits next to me arm around me.

"Ross still loves you" he says softly.

"We've ended up in a weird place. I've spoken to him about it, he said he considers himself to be with me. And that worries me. I'm constantly hoping a really hot girl will come along and sweep him off his feet" I say.

"It's not just that with him" Jay says.
"He loves who you are" he adds.

"Ugh don't tell me that, I feel bad enough as it is" I say.

"Maybe you should" he says, here we go which Jay am I going to get today?

"I do" I say

He turns my face to his, commanding.

"Taylor I know you, I accept who you are. I will not change you. You're excellent the way you are. I don't just see the perfect side, I can see your darker side and I love it. I love all of it"
"I want it all and I won't pretend it's not there" he says.

And it's like he's hit the nail on the head. That's what's different here.

"What do you want?" He asks as I stare at his face.
"You can say everything" he says.
"I can give you everything" he adds.

I quickly look away from him and down into my lap. He positions my head back to looking at him.
"Uh no Taylor. This is more like a one time deal" he laughs.
"I'm joking but hey I've let you kiss me countless times and I haven't told a soul" he says.
"I won't say a thing" he looks at me.

"What do I want from you ?" I say. Thinking I need to consult council Rhea first before I say another word.

"What do you want from me, yes. Imagine there are no other obstacles just us" he says and he strokes my cheek.

"But there are other obstacles." I begin.

He shakes his head. "No" he smiles.

"I'm attracted to you Jay, that's clear." I say.

"But do you just feel that or more ?" He asks.

"More." I say softly and he sighs out of relief.

He kisses my cheek softly. Let's go of my face and smiles. I feel hot like I can't breathe. His eyes work magic on me and now he's not looking at me and I'm no longer under the influence I feel so sinful and treacherous.

"What do you want Jay" I ask him softly.

"I want to take you home right now and never ever let you leave, I want you and only you. I want you every morning and every night." He faces me again.

"Please can I kiss you properly" he asks.
I look into his clear blue eyes and I can't believe where we are. I feel completely different about him, I used to look into his eyes and think him cold. But now I see how piercing blue they are. I see his complexity, the darkness and the light of him. He strokes my arm and I shiver.

I close the gap between us and press my lips to his. Before I listen to my head shouting at me I deepen the kiss, his tongue is in my mouth. I put my hands in his hair and I'm surprised at how soft it is.
He breaks away from me.
"That was perfect" he says and he strokes my lips.
I get the feeling I'm in a lot more trouble.