Avenger's One-shots and Preferences

Swear Jar- Steve Rogers

Okay, I thought up this one-shot based on this headcannon down below. I think we all know Steve would totally do something like this; especially after all the crap he probably gets for telling people to watch their language. It's probably implied in the title, but just in case, there will be swearing in this one.

"Is dinner ready yet?" you hear Tony's voice as you were in the kitchen, getting dinner ready for the team. "Almost, Tony, like I said five minutes ago," you reply more focused on making sure the pot doesn't boil over. "Ugh, this is taking way too goddamn long," Tony groans right when Steve walks into the kitchen. "Watch your language, Tony," Steve says sternly, holding the swear jar in front of Tony's face. "Seriously, Cap?" Tony frowns. "You know the rules, Stark," Steve smirks as Tony puts a dollar into the jar. You had to contain yourself from giggling.

Since everyone always gave Steve a hard time about him telling everyone to watch their language, the super soldier decided to make this a little long running gag by carrying a swear jar with him wherever he went. That way whenever one of the team says a profanity in front of Steve, whether it was during a mission, or just a lazy day at the Avengers facility, Steve would be there with a jar in hand, and said offender would have to put a dollar in.

Right now you were so focused trying to keep from laughing, the pot you were cooking from started to boil over, and got on your hand. "Ouch, shit!" you seared in pain. Steve wasted no time to hold the swear jar in front of you. "Are you fucking kidding me, I'm in pain here," you whine. "That's four dollars you have to put in now," Steve tells you. "Four?" you ask in disbelief. "Those particular swear words are two dollars each." "Fuck," you mumble. "Six dollars now," Steve says. You had to hold everything in as you put the money into the swear jar. "I have to step outside for a few minutes," you tell Steve and Tony. You head outside, closing the door behind you so no one could hear you, and angrily shout every single profanity you could think of. Afterwords, you took a deep, calming breath, and went back inside, thankful Steve wasn't within hearing shot of your swearing tirade.

"What's wrong, (y/n)?" you hear Bucky's voice as you head back to the kitchen. "What do you mean?" you ask, going back to finishing dinner for the team. "Well I had just finished running around the compound, and when I was going back inside, I heard you swearing like a sailor," Bucky explained. "Please don't tell Steve I did any of that," you urge, "I really can't afford to put anymore money into that jar of his." "Jar?" Bucky raises an eyebrow, "What exactly is that punk up to?" "Whenever someone says a curse word in front of Steve, he makes them put a dollar into this swear jar he carries with him," you explain. Bucky gave a humorless laugh when he heard that.

Dinner was ready and the team headed for the kitchen to dine on your Mexican style meal of rice, beans, and fajitas. Even during a relaxing dinner, Steve would not let anyone get away with the casual swear word every now and again. The minute someone cursed, he'd hold the jar right up, and in went a dollar. While you were eating, you noticed Bucky observing Steve's nonsense, which also included Steve having a smug look every time a dollar went in.

After dinner, you washed the dishes, and Bucky had decided to lend a hand. "What did I tell you?" you ask him. "I know, it's kinda weird," Bucky mumbles more to himself, then to you. "It's so fucking annoying," you rant. "I heard that, (y/n)," you could practically hear the smirk on Steve's face as you turn around, and as expected the jar was right in front of your face. "To quote Pietro, I didn't see that coming," you say sarcastically as you put a dollar into the jar.

When the last of the dishes were put away, you noticed Bucky heading for Steve's room. You weren't sure why, but you decided to follow from a safe distance. You hid behind a corner as you see Bucky enter Steve's room. "What the hell man?" you hear Bucky's voice confronting Steve. You couldn't see but you were pretty sure Steve was holding the swear jar in front of his best friend right this minute. "Don't give me that, punk," you hear Bucky say; your intuitions were correct, "We've known each other since we were kids, why are you going around making people put money in this so-called swear jar when you have the worst mouth I know of?"

You raised your eyebrow at this accusation. Steve swearing? If you were being honest, the idea is more then enough to make you laugh your guts out. "I only started it because everyone kept making assumptions," Steve says with an innocent tone, "I think those kind of assumptions should at least pay for a new bike, don't you think?" There was a moment of silence before Bucky finally spoke again, "I forgot how fucking devious you are, Stevie."

"You mean to tell me this whole 'watch your language' shit was all a ruse? A fucking con?" you step up from behind the corner to confront Steve. "Uh, how much of that did you-" "all of it," you interrupt Steve with an angry glare. "You gonna go tell the rest of the team?" Steve asked, looking at his feet. You actually considered it, but then had another idea in mind, "Well I might overlook this whole deception," you say innocent like, "but...No maybe I should let them know. If only there was some way to keep me quiet," you hold your hand out as if asking for money. Steve rolled his eyes somewhat and gave you some of the money. "Now will not tell them?" he asked. "Oh gee," you reply, "This is rather generous, but still, I have an obligation; I can't be keeping secrets from the team." Steve takes a hint and gives you more money from the jar, "Okay, I think this will work," you answer, "just so you know though, this may only be good till next week, so I may have to come back here again."

"You're really starting to enjoy this aren't you, (y/n)?" Steve says sarcastically. "Yeah, just a little," you admit with a smug look on your face, "Not everyday I get this kind of leverage from one of my friends."

"Hey, punk, don't I get a cut of the haul too?" You hear Bucky ask as you exit the room.