Avenger's One-shots and Preferences

Sugar and Lemons-Natasha Romanoff

This was requested by Sxarletwidow3014 who asked for a one-shot where Natasha struggles with an eating disorder. It struck me as odd at first cause I never saw Nat as someone who could have that kind of problem. But then I thought about her upbringing and the possibility of being instilled in her at an early age that part of being a spy and femme fatale included the constant stress of watching her figure.
The title was inspired by a character from Bojack Horseman.

Angst and some language.

------------Flashback: KGB Compound; Location Classified---------------

It was the dead of night; all the girls were sound asleep in their beds for the night, handcuffed to the bedposts so as to discourage sneaking out. This didn't stop a certain little red head from using a spare hairpin to un-cuff herself and sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. 

Since they were "recruited" into the Black Widow program, the 28 potential widows were groomed from an early age to fight and spy for the good of Mother Russia. For as long as they could remember, these girls were also taught discipline and self-control in both the physical and mental aspects, restraining themselves from indulging in the most basic of human vices such as food.
This, however, didn't stop little Natalia from craving something sweet in the middle of the night.

The top of the fridge, she knew, stored some of the snacks the male KGB agents would occasionally partake in, one of those snacks being small containers of vanilla ice cream. Natalia knew that ice cream was not for girls, but she dared to try some even if it was just a taste. She opens the top freezer and jumps a little ways to grab the nearest container.

Before she could open it, she feels someone grab her arm. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" the madame asks in a cross manner.  Natalia looks to her teacher eyes wide in fear. "I uh, I'm sorry, please forgive me," the little girl answers, on her knees, "I just wanted a small snack." "You should be in bed with the other girls," the madame scolds, then noticed the ice cream container. The madame immediately smacks Natalia upside the head, "You stupid girl!" she exclaims, "Have I not told you and the other girls time and time again you must watch your figure?!" "I just wanted a taste," Natalia says, trying not to cry. "Ice cream is not meant for girls, especially girls who wish to do their best in service to their country. You may be too young to understand now, but  when you grow men will look at you, and when they do, they must not see even one ounce of fat lest you fail to pertain information from them. Do you understand?"

Natalia nods, not able to respond. "Get back to your bed," the madame demands, "the next time I catch you indulging in that cursed sweet tooth of yours, you won't even be able to sprinkle sugar on a lemon when I'm through with you."

------------End of Flashback------------- 

It was day in the Avenger's compound when Natasha had just finished her workout for the day. She sat in the kitchen by herself, sucking on a lemon slice which she sprinkled some sugar on. She found herself thinking back to her days in the Red Room. In the most recent flashback, she thought back on the days when she was disciplined severely for trying to sneak a taste of the sweet, elusive ice cream.

Pulling the back lemon back out of her mouth she also began to think of other things in her unconventional childhood; certain, seemingly simple things that still weighed heavily on her to this day.
"Why can't I have ice cream?" she remembered asking time and time again as a young girl who still had much to learn about the real world. "You know ice cream is for boys," the madame would answer also time and time again, "if you want something sweet you can sprinkle some sugar on a lemon, that's a good healthy girl snack."