Stranger Things - Imagines

Billy Hargrove X Reader - Overwhelmed

A/N - This chapter was inspired by the song Overwhelmed by Royal & The Serpent. I hope you all enjoy it.

T/W: This one is all about anxiety and has descriptions of an anxiety/panic attack. If this is likely to have a negative effect on you, please skip this chapter.

You had been excited about the party all day, or at least, you'd been telling yourself that you were excited all day, even if you had that anxious niggling feeling pulling at your stomach. It wasn't like you hated parties, but the crowds could sometimes get the better of you, and it was only natural to worry about something like that. 

You'd even considered mentioning it to Billy. In the time that you'd been dating, there had always been something else that had come up whenever someone was throwing a party, so this would be your first experience of attending with him. Part of you thought that maybe warning him would be smart. The other part was too concerned about what he would think. There was every chance that he would think you were being stupid; that you were overreacting. I mean, almost everyone else you'd mentioned it to had thought that you having a panic attack because of some stupid house party was ridiculous.

So, you'd opted to keep the information to yourself, trying your hardest to calm yourself down before he could come and pick you up. You'd plastered your sweetest smile onto your face when he'd knocked, letting him lead you out to his car whilst your head was running through every situation you could possibly face. 

It hadn't taken long for Billy to realise something was wrong. Sure, you'd had the odd off moment before, but nothing like this. You were quiet, withdrawn, and he felt a little sick at the prospect that maybe it had something to do with him. 

"Alright over there, Princess?" he uttered, eyes darting over to you for just a second before returning to the road. 

You nodded, clearing your throat slightly. This was stupid. You should've just called and cancelled. You should've just bit the bullet and told him that your brain was capable of malfunctioning for no good reason-

He reached out with his free hand, resting it on your knee, his thumb rubbing gently at the bare skin. "You sure?"

There was a moment of silence, a hesitation that left you feeling lost. "I don't usually go to parties," you murmured, swallowing down the lump in your throat. 

"You're nervous?" he asked, and you tensed under his touch. 

There it was, that judgement that you were worried about something so minuscule. That something so insignificant could get you worked up to a point of feeling sick. 

"Woah," he murmured, squeezing down on your thigh slightly. "Don't lock up on me, Princess," he pressed on, his voice gentle where you had been expecting harshness. "Can you explain it to me?"

You shrugged slightly. "It's stupid," you breathed out. 

"It's not stupid. Nothing you could ever do would ever be stupid," he corrected, thumb still drawing soft circles into your skin, soothing you ever so slightly. 

You picked at the hem of your skirt. "I just-" you started, letting out a frustrated sigh. "It's overwhelming. The music and the people and the drinking," you paused, shaking your head. "It's like I stop being able to think properly and I feel sick; my chest gets all tight and I can't breathe. I don't understand it. I used to love parties. And I'm fine with the crowds at school. It doesn't make any sense."

He nodded slightly. "We're going home," he murmured, pulling over to the side of the road.

"No," you whined, grabbing at the hand still resting on your thigh. "You wanted to go-"

"Not if it makes you sick, Baby," he hummed, turning his hand over to link his fingers with yours. "There'll be other parties, but there's only one you," he pressed on, drawing your hand up to his lips and pressing a kiss to your skin. 

You took in a shaky breath, biting down on the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from crying. "It's Tommy's birthday," you murmured.

"He'll get over it." He hesitated for a moment, watching you carefully. "Let me take you home, Baby," he pressed on. 

Finally, you nodded, swallowing down the sick feeling that had been growing. You'd been expecting disaster, a big blow-up argument about you ruining his night, it's what you'd come to know in the last couple of years, whether it was from friends or boyfriends, but this was different. Billy wanted you to be happy, and he was fine with giving stuff up to make that happen.

"I'm working on it," you started softly, clearing your throat slightly. "With Ms Kelly," you added. "I haven't been going to do tutoring during lunch; I've been going to see her."

He nodded slightly. "Okay," he hummed out. "Well, what does she say?"

You shrugged. "She thinks I have an anxiety disorder. Thinks the best way to deal with it is by forcing myself into the types of situations that make me feel bad-"

"What?"

"She calls it Exposure Therapy," you explained softly. "So, she wants me to start small and work my way up," you murmured.

"We can do that. Start with a couple of people hanging out; work our way up to a party when you feel like you're ready." 

Your heart clenched at his thought process. He wanted to help. We can do that. We. He wanted to stick with you through it rather than ditching out at the first sign of trouble. 

"You've gone all quiet over there," he pressed on, glancing over in your direction for a moment. 

"I'm just thinking," you hummed, sending him a soft smile. 

"What're you thinking about?" 

You shrugged slightly. "Just how lucky I am to have you," you told him. "I know this must be pretty weird-"

"It's not weird," he interrupted. "It's a little different, but everyone has their stuff, right?"

"Right," you agreed, still smiling at him. "But I feel pretty lucky anyway."

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