She led me to him (Werewolf story)

Chapter 79 (part 2): The mirage

Serah POV

"Serah, we don't have time for you to be acting like a kid, decisions have been made, they weren't the best but everyone did their best for you. When the real danger is taken care of, blame the entire world if you want, now I need you focused and reach a certain level of peacefulness."

...

Peacefulness my ass.

His hold wasn't tight so getting out of it and kicking his ribs as hard as I could wasn't that complicated.

He winced at the shock while spouting nonsensical words.

"This ungrateful child!!"

"Don't get me started, you're making me look like an unreasonable tennager, when I have all the rights to complain and ask for an explanation. How could you think that I'd attain a certain level of serenity after all this mess. I almost died, I killed people and no one is respecting my will.

You too, I mean, mom, the pack, everyone; you all expect me to behave like an illuminated lycan when actually, I was born and raised as a human."

His hand was holding the area that my shoe made contact with and he grimaced, distorting his lineless face.

"Are you complaining now, you were always intrigued by the woods, you felt it in your guts that the boundaries that you would see weren't the limits. As you said everyone tried to prevent you from awakening your sleeping beast but you went out on your own when we explicitly told you not to wander too far."

It was hard to get my pulse under control. I tried to hold my head with my hands but my whole existence seemed to be taken as a joke.

"Did I choose to go out and find a freaking werewolf? I never asked for any of it and I'm blaming you for hiding a part of myself that I would have enjoyed, that I could have time to learn and discover. You guys had no right to suppress it."

"You did choose. You had enough reasons not to go but you still did. Don't think the world was against you. Even Kevin tried his best to bury who he was to keep you safe, how many months had he gone, not shifting, and suppressing his nature for you. And what did you do when you learned the truth? You left him. Thereafter, Don't blame it on us, destiny is a scary thing and it isn't fair for any of us."

As he mentioned Kevin my whole body froze.

"You have no right to talk about what happened between us."

Eos came and cupped my teary face.

"He wasn't the only one, each of us would give up a part of ourselves if it meant that you could escape your fate."

I didn't know why but my emotions exploded, and on my cheeks ran a river of sadness. Perhaps, these were words I waited for unconsciously.

Though my heart bore the weight of their lies, their genuine care soothed that after taste of unfairness.

...

"Serah!!"

The cries of my little monster invaded the hall. I crouched to be at his height so he could dive into my arms.

"Joshua!! How are you?"

It wasn't long until he moved away from my embrace, his face drawing his discontent.

"You didn't come here for a while."

The complaint was legitimate. Although I would rather spend all my freetime with Kam and Briah, my week consisted of training and no freetime.

Behind the angry kid, I saw a feminine silhouette whose dress flew along her every move.

The woman didn't wait a second to give me her warmth.

As the chattering started, Eos made his way inside ignoring the ruckus near the front door. Josh ran away behind the lycan begging him to carry him. Eos had no choice but to comply without forgetting to sigh at the effort he would need to make.

"Are you okay?"

Briah had that motherly instinct so hiding my worries would be of no use.

"I'm just tired and lost."

"Do you want to talk about it."

I noded shyly. I really needed someone to lean on.

The mistress of the house took my shoulder and guided me toward the sofa. I sat there breathing in the familiar scent of tranquility.

I felt the fabric sink next to me, her hand never cutting contact.

"So tell me, why are you looking so horrendous?"

I pressed my lashes together and they trembled so slightly, trying to contain the liquid ready to burst out.

"I just- You tell me. So many people wronged me, not deserving my forgiveness but not forgiving them is something impossible. I feel stuck."

"It's about Jay isn't it?"

She wasn't wrong but he wasn't the only one I was talking about. My whole family lied to me too.

All the people that my words would not be enough to describe my affection too, they all own me an apology.

"If only."

I whispered to myself.

Gab took a serious stance and if I only contemplated the ground now I was facing her determined eyes.

"Forgiveness is not about the other person, forgiveness means are you ready to free yourself from the anger you feel towards them, are you ready to only see a bright future without going back to the past. If someone I loved wronged me, I'd be mad, I'd be despicable with them, but at the end who would be the most miserable. Is crumbling a bright future for a past that cannot be changed worth it?"

I could hear her, I could picture everything she was saying but I wasn't so sure.

"How would I know it is a bright future I was going ahead and not a vicious circle where I would need to forgive them endlessly."

"You know it. In your heart you know it. And this time it's only about Jay so let me tell you right away, you can't run from your mate. He did things he shouldn't have and I could promise you, he is the first to punish himself everyday because of that. I'm not telling you forgiving him is the only way but it'd be torture for both of you if you stay as you are."

I sank in my thoughts with her words echoing in my heart. Was I ready to only see a future for us? Was I ready to give away my life as a normal human? Was I ready to enter a future I never could have pictured in the past.

None of the answers I sought came to me.

Nonetheless, I had no choice but to embrace this new part, letting go of the anger eating my soul and to surrender to the new bond I forged in this new world.

I would have plunged head first in this destiny but knowing that my peaceful day came to an end with an unknown guy trying to use me for his personal use wasn't reassuring.

But whatever, I love what I have now so I'll enjoy the mirage.

"Thank you Briah."