I'm right here (requested)

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Author's Note: This chapter contains possibly triggering content. It involves self-harm. Please do not read if that makes you uncomfortable.

Also, please always remember that I'm here for you if you're ever struggling and need someone to talk to. I will never judge you for anything you're going through. I love you all so much. If you do read this, I hope you enjoy it.

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"Baby? Are you okay in there?" Ryujin asked as she knocked on the bathroom door.

You sat on the closed toilet lid and stared at the blade in your hand through the blur of your tears.

It's been a hard day for you mentally as you feel overwhelmed by your anxiety as well as the stress and pressure you're under from things going on in your life.

On top of that, you and Ryujin were trending on social media this morning because you went out on a romantic date last night, and even though your relationship is public and has been for quite some time now, some people are still unkind.

And the things you saw people saying about you crushed you and made you feel worthless.

You usually try to hold things in and stay strong until you're alone to either cry it out or find another escape of some sort but today, you felt so overwhelmed that you left Ryujin on the sofa with the excuse that your stomach felt gross today and you were feeling nauseous.

She bought it and you came upstairs to the bathroom and you've been in here for who knows how long now.

You should've known that Ryujin would come and check on you sooner or later.

Of course, if you tell her that you're nauseous, she's going to become very worried and check on you.

However, you were just so caught up in your thoughts that you couldn't seem to escape them and time just passed by as you sat there trapped inside your own brain.

"Y/N?" She spoke again as a few seconds of silence went by.

"I'm okay." You said.

But your voice cracked and Ryujin could tell that you were in tears.

"Darling, are you sick in there?"

"I, um," You paused, staring at your wrist that had some blood coming from it due to the cut you had made across your skin seconds ago.

"Y/N, I know something's wrong. Let me in." She said as she turned the knob, only to let out a frustrated sigh as it was still locked, keeping her from coming inside.

You got up and put your blade down before going over to the sink to try and wipe everything away.

"One second." You said.

"No, baby, please let me in now." She said before setting her forehead on the door. "I saw the things people were saying online about you. You've never locked me out when you're sick because I always comfort you and you always tell me that you need that. I know something's wrong. Open the door. Please, baby."

You made your way across the floor and turned the lock on the knob before the door opened.

Ryujin was about to breathe out a sigh of relief when she saw you standing there.

She wanted to pull you in for the biggest, warmest, and most comforting hug you've ever had because she knows all too well how much some people's words can hurt.

But then, she saw that you had some blood on your wrist and her heart sank.

You weren't bleeding badly, just a little bit.

Much less than you had before when it first happened.

But it was concerning to Ryujin nonetheless because in her eyes even a drop of blood is too much when it comes to you and your well-being.

She grabbed your other hand and took you over to the sink where she grabbed a washcloth from the rack and gently placed it over the cut on your wrist.

She looked into your eyes wordlessly.

She knew what was going on.

She knew what had happened.

And she was devasted.

"I'm sorry." You sniffled.

"Shh." She said as she pulled you close. "Don't apologize to me, baby. I know you were feeling extremely overwhelmed."

"I'm just dealing with a lot and then I saw those comments and it made me feel so much worse." YOu said as you pulled away from her and gazed into her eyes. "I just didn't know what to do."

"You could've talked to me, baby. I would've listened and you know I'd never judge you, no matter what's going on in your head and no matter what you're feeling."

"I know." You sighed. "But you've been dealing with a lot too. You have a comeback with the girls approaching and you're so tired from your lack of sleep. I didn't want to bother."

"Bother? Bother me?" She asked as she furrowed her eyebrows. "You're not a bother, baby. You never bother me. I could go days without sleep in a row and be under an incredible amount of stress and I would still be there for you, no questions asked."

You stared into her eyes as she pulled the cloth away from your wrist.

"You're my girl and I love you more than anything."

"I love you too." You said as she caressed your cheek.

"Please talk to me." She said as she led you out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, where she pulled you onto her lap as she took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm just under a lot of stress and pressure from work and other things. I was anxious to start with and then those comments got under my skin. I just felt so bad about myself."

Ryujin kissed your shoulder softly.

"You know you can always come to me, right? I'm never going to judge you."

"I know. I'm sorry I didn't. I should've but so much was going on inside my head."

"I understand completely. I have days like that too. But I hope you know that no matter what your brain tells you and no matter what people online say about you or about us, you're beautiful and loved and I'm never going to let you be alone."

"Thank you." You said as she kissed your cheek.

"Promise me that you won't do this to yourself again. If you ever these thoughts again, please come to me."

"What if you're busy or on tour or something?"

"You still get ahold of me regardless. I could be a million miles away, it could be three in the morning, and I would still be here for you."

You smiled a little.

"And you know that if you can't ever get through to me for some reason, you can call one of the girls, right? So they can get me and I can be there for you."

"I know. Thank you, baby. You make me feel better."

"Good." She smiled as she brushed her fingers through your hair. "I'm here for you, okay? I will always be here for you, my love. No matter what, if you need me, I'm right here."

You put your arms around her and held her tight as she rubbed your back soothingly.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She whispered softly as she held you a little tighter. "And if you ever feel like you need more than just me, like a therapist or something, you say the word and we'll find the best one there is."

"Okay." You said with a small smile.

"Everything's okay, baby. I'll love you no matter what and we will get through this. I promise." She said.

And you just snuggled up to her a little more, feeling safe in her arms as everything else faded away.

She makes you feel loved.

She cares for you more than anyone else or anything.

And as long as you have her, you know that everything will always be okay.

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