It Should've Been Me | Whumptober Day 6

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Heyo, human beings from outer space! 

I meant to have this out a loooonngg before now but I've had soooo many internet complications. Literally I just took a fat break right there because the internet went out and I ate part of a meal. 

But anywayyy, the title is the prompt 'cause I'm feeling increativetoday. This is a sequel to whumptober day 4 and was requested by DyslexiccRattthe_Chaotics, and kamalakhan.

Read on if you dare. 


Time became irrelevant as Anakin sat beside Ahsoka's bed, holding her hand and waiting for her to open her eyes. He watched her closely, waiting to see those dark lashes bat, longing for those bright blue irises again.

All Anakin knew was that the sun rose and fell and rose again, over and over. He left only when absolutely necessary and returned as soon as he possibly could. In the end, it was Obi-Wan who burst his bubble.

"Anakin, you'll have to leave at some point."

"No I don't!' Anakin snapped, tightening his grip on Ahsoka's hand.

"You act as if she'll disappear if you take your eyes off her," Obi-Wan said. "I promise she won't."

"I don't want her to wake up alone," Anakin said, and it wasn't a lie. He couldn't bear the thought of Ahsoka waking up in the white-walled room alone. It made him sick.

"I'll personally see that someone is beside her at all times," Obi-Wan promised. "I'll even stay here with her the whole time while you're away."

Anakin didn't reply, instead letting his eyes sweep Ahsoka's form that was too small and too still. It was true that he didn't want her to wake up alone, but there was more to it. He didn't want her to wake up when he wasn't there. Maybe it was selfish, but he owed it to her.

"Anakin–"

"You don't get it," Anakin growled.

"Get what?"

"She doesn't deserve this!"

"I understand that perfectly well, Anakin," Obi-Wan sighed, "but Ahsoka knew the risks when she–"

"It's not that," Anakin snapped. "It should've been me!"

"What in the blazes are you talking about?"

"I should've watched her more carefully, made sure she was okay– I should've known that the explosion was coming, I–"

"Anakin, stop," Obi-Wan ordered. "It isn't like you could pause the war for her. Ahsoka knew the risks when she stepped into battle, and I'm sure she doesn't blame you."

But she should. Anakin wanted to open his mouth and argue more, but he feared he'd burst into tears if he tried. Obi-Wan was right, and he hated it.

"Go take a shower. I'm sure your padawan will appreciate you much more if she doesn't have to wake up to a nauseating scent." Obi-wan made a show of pinching his nose and waving a hand in front of it as if shooing away a terrible scent.

Anakin attempted a smile and with a deep breath, stood from his chair so Obi-Wan could take it. He was doing this for Ahsoka.

///

Somehow– Anakin could explain it– he blinked and he was in front of Senator Amidala's apartment. And since he so conveniently ended up there, Anakin elected to go inside. After all, everything happens for a reason so the Force might be telling him something.

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