[𝟵𝟬] ⚠️ Mɪssɪɴɢ Yᴏᴜ

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Y/N - your name
C/N - crush's name

Song: "I Don't Miss You at All" - FINNEAS

this isn't rlly that angsty it's basically just about y/n getting over her relationship with c/n

next chapters might be werewolf AUs cos i'm rlly into AUs rn 👀 ur welcome btw

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« I swear I don't miss you at all
And I barely still remember who's in the pictures on my walls »

It was just another day, getting up and getting ready for work. Y/N trudged out of her bedroom tiredly, hardly sparing a glance to the polaroids pinned up on the wall in the corridor. She knew she should take them down, but couldn't possibly bring herself to come close to looking at his face.

« No, I can't recall your scent
Jasmine, tulip, rose and lily
Oh, your silly French accent »

After the breakup, Y/N's best friend had given her an arrangement of flowers as a show of kindness. Only, the flowers she had chosen perfectly combined to make C/N's scent, meaning Y/N was forced to have it waft up her nose whenever she walked past the dining table. Her best friend came over too much for her to take them down without coming across as rude, so they remained delicately watered on the table.

Every time the flowery aroma was picked up by her nostrils, Y/N could practically hear his joking French accent echoing in the background. It was so annoyingly funny and attractive that she wanted to curl up into a ball and cry.

« Oh, I've forgotten about those eyes
A shade of [green] that if he'd seen
Would make F. Scott Fitzgerald cry »

The colour of the kitchen cabinets was the exact same shade as C/N's gorgeous irises. She could hardly make a cup of coffee in there without thinking of the way he used to look at her.

« But I won't break down at 2am and call
'Cause I don't miss you at all »

Many times had she been tempted to call him late at night, when she was on alcohol and feeling depressed and lonely. Miraculously, she had resisted all the times she had gotten the temptation, but she feared that if it happened again she wouldn't be able to stop herself. She didn't miss him. At least, that's what she was trying to convince herself.

« And I'm sleeping fine
I don't mean to boast
But I only dream about you
Once or twice a night at most »

Dreaming about C/N every night wasn't a bad thing, right? Y/N found he only ever featured once or twice, anyway, so it had to be a sign she was moving on. Her mother had told her she looked absolutely exhausted, but she swore she was sleeping perfectly fine. In reality, while she was sleeping, it was a light and restless sleep that hardly counted as rest. Of course, when you're in denial like Y/N, that's not how you see it.

« And it feels so good eating alone »

Staring down at the toast with jam in front of her, her mind drifted to how C/N always used to make her laugh so hard she choked on her food. Maybe it was a good thing he wasn't there: no risk of an accidental early death. Yeah, it was a good thing.

« I don't get distracted by your smile
And miss the green lights driving home »

Later that day, when she was driving home from work after a day full of not even thinking about C/N once, she took one look at the setting sun and thought about how gorgeous it was. Kind of like his smile. There had been a countless number of times where she had nearly caused a car accident because she had been staring at him laughing in the passenger seat. Another good reason for him not being there: Y/N wasn't risking her or anyone else's lives.

« No sign of stopping
The house isn't far »

Now he wasn't there, she could properly pay attention to the signs along the road, like a sensible driver should. Just a little longer until she was home, and then she could wallow in self pity in peace. Oh, how she wanted to cry, but that would be letting C/N win.

« But I think our song is coming on
And now I wanna crash the car »

Of fucking course the radio chose then of all times to play the song that she used to love but now made her ears bleed. The temptation to turn the wheel and go slamming into the roadside brick wall was unbearable, but Y/N took a deep breath and switched channels before focusing once more on the road before her. She wasn't going to let him win today. Not ever.

« But I won't make that mistake again and fall
So I say I don't miss you at all »

Y/N would never let herself fall for him again. The breakup had been too painful to ever risk the experience even once more, so she would keep telling herself she didn't miss him, because she didn't. Deep down, she knew that wasn't true, but the lie was the single thread of sanity she was hanging off of. It was the only thing stopping her from becoming desperate.

« And someday I won't miss you at all »

Even if it was a lie for now, one day the feelings would completely go away, and Y/N would be able to say, "I don't miss you at all," honestly and truthfully. That day would come, and hopefully soon. She would always cherish her time with him, but the feelings would go away and she would find someone else.

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as u can see i took another bash at this format bc this song inspiredme to.

today's fun fact about moi:~

i had such bad cramps yesterday that i ended going home bc it hurt sooooo fucking much. rip lia's uterus 2020

[1005 words]

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