↳ ffvii (final fantasy seven) one shots || vol. 1

two years || headcanon - reno

anonymous asked: Hello lovely, I have a request and it's 💯%ok if you don't want to write it. It's a Reno/reader or s/o that she happens to be in sector 7 when the plate falls and he has no idea until afterward. She doesn't come back because of losing her memory so he thinks she's dead. Maybe finds her a few years later during the aftermath of advent children and her memory is still not great but he's the guy she keeps dreaming about. Feels. The guilt. The relief. The reunion. Idk man. But if u write it thanks!

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the guilt has stayed with him for the past two years, the horrible oily claws scraping at his insides for so long, reminding him of how he played a part of your death. for the first year he's inconsolable, but puts on a brave face for many, attempts to ignore the traitorous thoughts that constantly assault him. he doesn't want to think about how horrible your death is, nor does he want to think about your final moments. your body was never recovered, your parents never given peace of mind, no body for your funeral.

he didn't attend your funeral, declined the invitation from your parents citing work responsibilities in the aftermath of the destruction of midgar. but he visited your grave in the following weeks, covered with flowers and messages from friends and family, and sobbed and sobbed, apologising over and over again. he can never forgive himself for what he's done to you, knows there's no way to make it up to you. he visits your grave every week with a bouquet of your favourite flowers, and a little message to you, asking for forgiveness and telling you he loves you.

when he sees you he initially think he's going insane, looks like he's seen a ghost, because he's pretty sure he has. before he knows it he's right in front of you, staring at you in awe and disbelief, shakily reaches out to touch you, half-expecting his hand to go straight through you. but it doesn't, and he feels your soft skin beneath his fingertips and he realises you're real. there's that scar you received when you were a kid underneath your cheek, a new one stretching from the top of your forehead down to your brow, and he wonders if it's a result of the plate falling.

he almost goes to embrace you and kiss you, before you start telling him you've been seeing him in your dreams, how weird it is that he's finally standing in front of you in daylight, asking him if you knew him before the plate fell. you can't remember anything, have been living with an elderly couple in another city, just so happened to make an impulsive trip to this one to see if anyone would recognise you. it devastates him to realise that you've lost your memory, all the memories he created with you gone just like that, utterly meaningless to you.

the relief he feels though completely triumphs any of his other emotion. he still feels immeasurably guilty for what he did, for all this unnecessary pain of not knowing who you are or where you belong, but just to be able to see you again grants him great relief. he'll explain to you who you were, who you are through tears, and finally embrace you, apologising to you endlessly, promising he'll explain one day why he is apologising, but for now he just needs to be able to hold you close. he needs to be able to feel you and love you, because that's what you deserve.