L Lawliet x reader head-canons and oneshots • DEATH NOTE [COMPLETED]

Accept me

A/n: I think I fixed the problem that wouldn't let me post over a certain number of words, so I won't have to break things into parts now. Also get ready for a long read, this is over 2000 words.

It's the worst when you can't make words. You speak but it comes out as undistinguishable sounds, like nothing your voice makes has a meaning. You're trapped in your mind and all your fears, dreams and affections can be fully expressed in your brain, not on paper, not verbally, just in thought.

That man that sat at his desk all night was all you could think about. You'd been a victim to love but no matter how hard you tried to cough up the right words, it just didn't work.

You often wondered if the man had a wall in his mind that blocked out your conveys of affection, but it was definitely more like you couldn't coney them in the first place.

You tried, you tried so hard to get the message across but you just couldn't.

You were lost in an empty cyberspace of your mind, floating in nothing as you were left to feel emotions you couldn't express.

You were sure L didn't know anything about love or how to tell when someone has a crush on you, so if you wanted to be with him, it was all on you to make it happen.

You just couldn't.

Something stopped you.

Was it an anxiety? Or a feeling of denial?

You didn't know.

You were cold,freezing. But you were so lost in your head that you stayed sat on the rooftop, standing at the railing and staring at the city below you.

Why couldn't you tell him? Or even hint it? What was stopping you? Why was it stopping you?

What if you're overreacting, and you don't even have a thing with him? What if he rejected you? What if you tried to tell him but he got the wrong message?

You felt so awful.

You didn't even notice the tears that had been falling for hours now, not until you were snapped out of your daze by a helicopter flying above taskforce HQ creating a loud noise that broke the otherwise relatively silent night air.

As soon as you noticed the tears, they got heavier, more falling down your face. You unconditionally started sobbing, not the quiet sniffles kind, the loud, messy kind that was borderline screaming.

You dropped to your knees and hunched over holding your head in your hands as you almost choked, gasping for air in between sobs.

It seems you were so loud someone had heard from downstairs.

"(Y/N)! What's wrong?!"

You head the clicking of heels across the floor coming toward you. You felt someone's hands in your shoulders and you were lifted up to face the person.

It was Misa.

"I- I-"

You couldn't even get it out to Misa.

"Breathe honey, breathe... are you ok? What's happened?" She said, rubbing your arm.

You took a couple breaths but couldn't seem to calm down.

"I- I CAN'T STAND THIS! EVERYTHING I WANT TO SAY IS STUCK IN MY HEAD AND I JUR CAN'T GET IT OUT! I- I JUST W-WANT TO SCREAM I ALL BUT... I can't..." you sobbed.

"Get what out? Are you arguing with someone?"

You shook your head.

"Do you have something to tell someone?"