L Lawliet x reader head-canons and oneshots • DEATH NOTE [COMPLETED]

Never? [Crack]

A/n: NSFW crack inspired by some shitpost on tumblr bc it's so L Ngl. I actually laughed for so long after I saw it

Head canon: before you, L had literally never seen tits before.

It was one of those days where taskforce was just not being productive.

Light and Matsuda were just being boys and somehow ended up talking about lingerie. Misa joined in, giving her input on the best kinds to wear. You found it hilarious and just sat at desk laughing at their conversation.

"But like, those kinds with all the straps and harnesses, how they hell do you even put them on?!" Matsuda said.

"Patience" Misa replied.

"Ok, I'm curious, so girls prefer having big or small boobs?" Light asked.

"Depends who's you ask, of say somewhere in between. Big boobs give your back issues but small boobs can make you look like. 12 year old sometimes" Misa said.

At this point, you decided to jump in.

"Yeah, but those crop tops with the dip in the middle look best on the flat girls" you said.

"True. What about you big or small?"

"Middle sized I guess. Although sleeping on your front can be a problem sometimes"

"Oh yeah, I hate that. But hey all boobs are good boobs" Misa said.

"Ok what about bras? What's the best kind?" Matsuda asked.

"Hmmm... I mean lacy ones look pretty but they're kind of uncomfortable. Sports bras are good but you sweat a lot when it's too hot. Probably just normal ones" you said.

"Yeah I second that, but FUCK underwires, they poke into you and it fucking hurts" Misa added.

"Oh my god I HAAATTEE underwired, especially when the ends poke out and jab you"

"Ughhh I hate that"

It was at this point L had realised what everyone was talking about and got confused.

"Why is everyone talking about breasts?" He asked, spinning his chair to have you.

"I just joined the boys conversation" Misa said.

"Dunno, it just kind of happened" Light added.

He looked at you for your input.

"Don't ask me, I just answered a few questions about bras. They're just boys being boys I guess" you said.

"Yeah ryuzaki, don't act like you haven't thought about boobs before" Matsuda jokes.

L tilted his head in confusion.

"I don't???" He said.

"Wha- do you not have sexual hormones?" Misa said.

"I mean yeah, but I've never been bothered to look at porn or anything"

"Wait- are you saying you've never seen boobs before? Not even on like, google images as a 12 year old or something?" Light said.

"Why is that so surprising?" L asked.

"L YOU'RE A MALE IN YOUR 20s" Matsuda exclaimed.

"And?"

"Most men have seen boobs just that age"

"Wow you're innocent" you added.

"Ooo, (y/n) you should show him~" Misa teased.

"Wha-"

"I agree what?"

The two of you looked at Misa in shock. Although... it would be kind of funny, and you did like L, a lot.

"Go on, that's an achievement right there. Your boobs were the first pair the worlds greatest detective saw~" Misa laughed.

You began to laugh too, actually considering it just to see his reaction.

"I'd pay to see his reaction" Light laughed.

"Me too" Matsuda added.

"W-what makes you think I'd react at all?" L stammered.

"Oh I don't know, the fact your face is red and you're stammering says a lot. Don't lie you wanna see (y/n)s boobs~" Misa said.

L didn't reply, embarrassed because Misa was actually right. L did quite like you, and whenever thoughts like that did cross his mind, it was always about you.

"Do it (y/n), flash him" Light laughed.

You caught your breath from laughing so much and sat up.

"You know what, fuck it" you said.

Good thing no one else was in the room but you five. And if you stood with your back facing everyone else it'd be fine. You got up and walked over to L.

"(Y/n) what are you-" L began.

You put a finger over his lips and smirked at him.

"Just take it ok?"

With that you pulled your shirt up, taking your bra with it.

The other three has one hell of a reaction.

"YES GO (Y/N)!" Misa said.

"OH MY GOD YOU ACTUALLY DID IT!" Matsuda exclaimed.

"L'S SO SHOOK I CAN'T" Light laughed.

He wasn't wrong. L just started, his face red and he looked so dazed from what he was currently witnessing.

You couldn't help but laugh, loving his reaction. This once innocent boy wasn't so innocent anymore.

Man, teasing L was real fun.

"Like it?" You teased, the other three laughing at how embarrassed L was.

"Touch em L!" Miss laughed.

You grabbed his hands and pulled him forward, making him grab your boobs.

His face just went even redder, but he didn't let go. You suddenly heard someone walking down the hall and quickly pulled your shirt down, acting natural.

Everyone was laughing, L just looked dazed and embarrassed.

"What the hell is all the noise?" Aizawa asked, entering the room.

"L's shook" you laughed.

"Why?"

"Ok, you won't believe this. L, a literal adult, has never seen boobs before" Light laughed.

"What? But he's 23?" Aizawa laughed back.

"Not until today, we made (y/n) flash him and now he's all embarrassed" Matsuda explained.

You were currently losing your shit on the floor, laughing so hard.

L just left. He just got up and left, probably off to hide in his room and die of embarrassment.

"And (y/n) was ok with it?" Aizawa asked.

"I wanted to see his reaction" you laughed.

After a few more minutes of laughing, you all calmed down. Taking a breath again.

"He's just left" light said.

"(Y/n) go talk to him" Misa added.

"Oh I'll do more than just talk to him"