L Lawliet x reader head-canons and oneshots • DEATH NOTE [COMPLETED]

Things that defs happened in Death Note

Idk just read it.

Totally canon things that happened in Death Note:

Matt: yo Mells, how do you want your bacon?
Mello: beyond birthday it.
Matt: you sure? that'll burn it to a crisp
Mello: yeah your right, make it as crispy as the fire that gave me my scars

Misa: light you want some?
Light: *takes drink* this bitch empty, YEET- *throws it*
L: *is hit in the back of the head by a soft drink can*

Mello, to Near: can't tie your shoes?
Near: can't tie my shoes but I can fuck your Bitch
L: *chokes on drink*
Matt: *drops game controller*
B, from beyond the grave: *gets whiplash from stopping in his tracks so fast*
Mello: what the fu-

L: I really do love working here, it's a lot of fun
Also L: fuck off Misa, I'm not going to your fucking baby shower

Light: I'm not Kira
L: the the fuck you lyin, why you always lying, oh my god, stop fucking lyin

L: let me see what you have
Light: A DEATH NOTE
L: NO

Light, in his sleep: *rolls off bed*
Ryuk, startled by the thump: JESUS MOTHER FUCKING CHRIST LIGHT WHAT THE FU-

Light: I WILL BE GOD OF THE NEW WORLD AHAHAHAH
Ryuk: look Light I just wanna play Mario kart.

Rem: Misa lights an ass drop him
Misa: but it's true love
Rem: even threatening to kill you?
Misa: true love!
Rem: I love you but holy shit you can be stupid sometimes

Misa: how's this dress?
Rem: give us a spin
Misa: *twirls*
Rem: YES GIRL FUCKING SLAY THAT SHIT

L, during his emo phase he never left: ITS NOT A PHASE WATARI, THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM-

Near: I'm hungry *goes to grab the last jar of jam from the fridge for a sandwich*
Mello: NO DON'T TOUCH THAT!
Near: why?
Mello: because Beyonds ghost haunts anyone who takes the last jar of jam
Near:... holy shit you just saved my life

Matt, upon seeing a frog: who invited L?
L: I swear to god Matt-

L: ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS
Light: IF SHE BREATHES, SHES A THOOOOOOTTT

Matsuda, to light: your constant disrespect of the female gender makes me *leans into his ear* ssiiiccckkk

Near, walking down the halls of Wammys alone: how are you A? I hope we're all keeping you company.
Mello, walking down a few minutes later: hey ghost boy, you doing ok?
L, later: I hope you're ok A, we miss you.
Matt, a few minutes later: hey there A's ghost it's me, ya boi

A smol L: *grabs lollipops of the shelves*
Watari: no I'm not buying you that
Smol L: *throws them at him*
Watari: try me bitch

L, as a full grown adult: WATARI THERES A SPIDER SHOOT IT!
Watari, walking in with bug spray: you're fucking 25 L

(If Misa had a thing for L instead of light)
Misa, in lingerie: L how does this look?
L: asymmetrical, but that's normal
Misa: L I need you
L: to what?
Misa: to take me
L: I'm not taking you anywhere until you put on a shirt

B: hey there shinigami, it's me, YA BOI

Matt, about Mello: look at my flaming hot boyfriend
Also Matt: actually he's literally burning I should probably go get him.

Light: has anyone seen L?
L: *lying face down on the floor* present

Beyond: *roller skates into his therapists office with a feather boa and pina colada* KARREN YOU WON'T BELIVE WHAT HAPPENED THIS WEEK

Light: sorry I'm late, I was doing... things
L, enters the room, a complete mess: HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS.

L: *sips tea out of a mug that reads 'the bags under my eyes are designer'*

Mello: Near said a bad word today
L: where the fuck did he learn that from?
Mello: ...
L: never mind

Light: today's kinda a cheat day for me, I had whipped cream with my breakfast
L: I've been living of Oreos and Fanta for two months

Light, at the end of Death Note: well, well, well... if it isn't the consequences for my own actions...

Misa: hey are you asleep yet
Light: yes
Misa: ok I won't bother you then
[two hours later]
Misa:...
Misa: wait a fucking second-

Light: L it's four in the morning why are you baking a cake and what's with the party decorations?
L: I'm celebrating the death of my sleep schedule and sanity, want a cookie?

L, as a child: *throwing a tantrum*
Watari: *shoves a lollipop in his mouth*
L: *immediately stops*

Watari: L's a mess, he hasn't showered in weeks, I guess I'll just... I dunno... throw him in the washing machine?

[at Disney land on the teacup ride]
L and Near: *slowly spinning and calmly talking*
Matt and Mello: *flys past them, spinning at the speed of light, screaming*

L: *steps over a dead body, opens the fridge*
Light: L this is a crime scene
L: *holding ice cream* what is, the murder weapon? Get off my dick.

Mello: so I saw you with Near yesterday
Matt: Mello it's not what you think
Mello: I won't hesitate Bitch! *pulls out gun*